How can they tell you a time scale!?

Hi Emily,

I am sorry you find yourself in a similar position to me I can tell you. We are 6 weeks post the worst news possible to hear and things seem a little easier at the moment, we've calmed from the initial shock. But it's up and down to say the least and I think that's just how it's going to be. 

My mum was very much the same as your mum trying to be up front and sometimes come across as brutal. It is so hard to hear it all and digest. Just had to try put myself in her shoes and try and understand that she might need to do that as negative at it may sound. She's getting her head around it too.

If you need to talk. Feel free to message.

Lockdown is so cruel when time is ticking and that's my biggest thing atm too. We were all going on big holiday for our honeymoon in June that was postponed last year and have now cancelled this year in order to get things booked and make memories here. Then boom. Thanks covid.

Take care xx

Hi MrsM2021,

I'm glad things are feeling easier for you. I totally understand you feeling like that when your mum is being so matter of fact. I also feel the same but I feel so sorry for my mum as she just doesn't deserve this and neither does your mum. No-one does. So we can't really blame them but it is so so hard to hear when all I want to try and do is stay hopeful and pray for a miracle. She's hopefully coming home from hospital on Wednesday and in my head I just feel like it's a countdown from then so really need to try and not think like that :( 

Hope today is a good day for you.

Emily xx

Try not to beat yourself up about certain feelings. They are all relevant to going through this awful time.

Your so right no one deserves this. 

Are they going to do radiotherapy/chemo? Do you know yet? 

I only hope that treatment is sorted ASAP as today is day 6 after my mums 1st session in chemo and she's feeling great. I hope with improvements to pain and treatment you'll find more positive days ahead to enjoy time together xxx

Hi,

Thank you. She has had some chemo already but then had to have the stoma fitted so now can't have it for 6 weeks. She's waiting to hear from the oncologist but there's been a mention that 6 weeks maybe too late so there maybe nothing they can do... 

She's coming home tomorrow though so I'm really excited but just worried I'm going to run out of coping strategies. Really pleased about your mum's chemo- that's great news!

Emily xxx

Ohhh Emily is the stoma for something unrelated. I am so sorry that this may be the case.

There are some people on here on other groups that have been given very short time spans and out lived that by quite some time. I hope this is the case for you.

Please take care and be kind to yourself.

The stoma is because the tumor in her bowel is so big it's causing a blockage but they've given her 6 months max due to the mets in her liver. 

That's comforting to hear regarding the time spans. Trying to keep hopeful xxx

I’m new to this group but can totally relate to what you’re all saying. My husband has been given a 12-18 month (but could be more or could be less) prognosis so if one more person wishes me a happy new year.......  I have always been an optimist but I have to say that I’m struggling to find the optimism at the minute....although I have started mediation and have found that is helping a little to”live in the moment” rather than focussing on a bleak future. 
Just reading that other people are in the same situation is comforting (although I wish that one of you were in rosy situation) 

Taking each day as it comes 

Jillybean 

Hi Jillybean,

I had to reply on here too as I've just read the issues you're facing properly. I completely understand the 'happy new year' thing! I've had to stop myself looking at social media for the same reason. 

I wish there was a tablet we could all take that would allow us to stop thinking the worst! We're all in the same boat and hopefully we will pull through and get through it together xxx