How can they tell you a time scale!?

MrsM2021

As difficult as it must have been for you to write this post here, I wanted to welcome you, it is not a place any of us wish to find ourselves, but it is a place that offers, knowledge, experience and understanding.

I am not sure if you have visited the Lung cancer forum this is specific for the type of cancer mum has been diagnosed with. You may find others with or who have had a similar diagnosis that will be able to empathise fully with what you are currently experiencing.

I can understand your heartbreak, a short-life prognosis is a great shock, but it is only a prognosis, sometimes holding on to those words hold us back, this is my opinion only, but by focusing primarily on the prognosis, we are not focusing on the fighting. I also know that it is not easy to focus on anything other than the prognosis at times. The overwhelming feeling of loss, the wonder of what will happen to those who are left behind and the how will I cope feelings consume every part of the mind... My husband, has a different cancer, but with treatment his  prognosis is just over 12 months. Like you, initially we were told, months, or months and months. That was back in May, there is more time behind us than in front of us if we are to cling to the prognosis...so..we aim not too and I hope that you can do the same...Treatment changes daily, advances in the way things are done are continuous, we are all walking on the same path as those advancements and they may become available to us... This may be a path full of hope, but in my mind it is a more comfortable path in for me at least.

I wish your Mum all the very best with her treatment, maybe in time you will get more answers, it is impossible to know until the cancer presents itself, and that is the hardest thing for me, had we known earlier, prognosis could be different, but our strength to fight this is the same.

Thinking of you

Lowe'

Hi,

I'm in the same boat, I can't say happy new year to anyone as it's not a happy new year, my mum is going to pass soon. I was desperately hanging onto 2020 as I know 2021 will be the year I lose my mum. 

God bless x

Hi Cat992

Welcome to this little slot on the forums.. not where you want to find yourself I know. I am so sorry to hear that Mum's time with you is limited, it is the most difficult thing to know, and something that we have so little control over. 

I often think about my husbands prognosis, but I have to believe he will stay as long as he possibly can, I hope your Mum gets to do that too, pain free of course. 

Thinking of you and here if you want to rant.

Lowe'

Hi Lowedal,

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. I have just joined the lung forum thank you.

I am sorry to hear about your husband too but I do love your positive attitude and we are slowly getting out positive vibes back now mums pain is more controlled and the chemo starts this week.

I hope you get many many more months together. It has to be so hard to stay positive and upbeat all the time. I think knowing we are all here on similar journeys is quite a comfort.

Take care and thanks again. X

Hi Cat.

I am so sorry your going through this with your mum too. I hope time slows down and you can have as many good memories with your mum as possible.

If only there was a rewind button on life to rewind to happier times.

Thinking of you. Here if you need to talk.

Take care xx

I'm exactly the same. Weve just been told my mum only has 6 months maximum and I'm really struggling to come to terms with that. I'm trying to clutch at hope but deep down I just keep thinking of the negatives. I'm finding comfort by being on this forum which shows we aren't alone.

EGviola

Sorry to read about your Mum, I sometimes wonder how a maximum prognosis is given, but others know better than I do... it's no wonder you have moments of negative thinking with a deadline hanging in your mind... 

We are here to support and to be supported, so thank you so much for posting here. I hope that you and Mum will try to make plans on the other side of the six months, aims and goals to achieve, a bucket list maybe? something the let the prognosis know that you intend to fight it.

Take care of both of you

Lowe'

Hi Lowe,

Thank you for your lovely reply. There are so many things I would like to do with her but obviously we're limited due to Covid-19. I'm hoping to watch a lot of films with her, play games, have spa days in the house etc. things like that to have a positive atmosphere at home if these are her last few months. I am really struggling to come to terms with the fact that they're now saying chemo might not be an option at all as I'm losing more and more hope. 

Emily

Hi Emily

Please don't beat yourself up, it is only natural to be scared, low, encased in feelings of loss before the loss is here, (well that's how I have felt at times anyway) my husband now is in the second half of his one year prognosis, and I float between positive upbeat focussed emotions and those of total disbelief and despair.  But I know that it is ok to do that... I know that Dal will do whatever he can to keep his tumours down and his strength up..... I also know that maybe, he does not have that control? but there is one thing that keeps me going, it's me ensuring that he knows that 100% I will work with him to keep him as healthy as possible.

Bucket lists can include dancing to a favourite teenage tune of Mums, beating someone at a game of monopoly  or baking a birthday cake  these strange times create strange lists.

It's ok to have bad moments, low moods and to over think things... but it is also ok to think past that prognosis..  as hard as that may be (for all of us) to wish for more and believe that it just might be possible.

Here's hoping

Lowe'

Thank you. That was comforting to read.

I'm very sorry to hear about your husband. You seem to be coping so well from the couple of messages you have sent me. My mum is more concerned as she feels that I'm in denial and she is trying to prepare me as much as possible. She is definitely more of a pessimist! She is still currently in hospital and it was her birthday on the 4th (the day we got the awful news) so I'm looking forward to celebrating with her and doing a spa day at home when she comes out. I'm just so so worried I'm not going to know how to cope but I do know I need to focus more on now.

Thank you,

Emily