For two years my lovely mum has been battling breast cancer with liver metastasis and doing really well, every scan was positive and it was under control. Earlier this year she started suffering memory loss and had a couple of blackouts and sadly in July she was told it was now in her brain and they could offer radiotherapy to give her more time but it was now terminal.
She has been in hospital now for 7 weeks following an infection and is deteriorating rapidly, she's bed bound with a catheter with no short term memory at all and significant confusion and disorientation. She was moved 3 weeks ago out of the main hospital to a palliative care unit to receive end of life care at the advice of the palliative care consultant, which is a lovely unit and the staff are wonderful and keeping her very settled and comfortable and we can visit whenever we like.
On Monday this week we were asked to a family meeting with the palliative care consultant where we were told that she had 'outlived their expectations' and as it was a short stay unit (2 weeks) she didn't fit the criteria any more and would need to be moved to a nursing home as they needed the bed for other patients! Suffice to say I was appalled and so upset and angry. They say she only has a few weeks left at most but that doesn't qualify her to stay on the unit?! When I asked if she could come home they said the nursing she requires was too great and she would need round the clock care which she could only receive in a nursing home. A hospice equally isn't an option as they only do the 2 week end of life care.
I am distraught that they are planning to move mum into a nursing home where we cannot visit and where she will be at huge risk of Covid. I feel like we're in between a rock and a hard place - she's not close enough to dying that she qualifies for palliative care unit / hospice but not well enough to come home. I feel like she is being punished for staying alive too long.
I just wondered if anyone else has had a similar experience and can offer any advice? She surely can't be the only one to be in this situation.
It's making an already very upsetting and distressing time so much more stressful.
Thank you in advance x
