Hi
Just joined this group so apologies if there is a already a similar thread going.
My Mum was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer at the end of October last year. I live in Scotland, she is in the South of England but I have been able to go and spend time with her over the last six months, including a long period over Christmas when she was unwell.
Now, of course, I am not allowed to go unless I make the decision to stay with my parents until lockdown is over. None of us has any idea how long that could be. I am in the relatively fortunate position of not having a house or family of my own (I say fortunate, it is not but in these circumstances it works in my favour) and now that we are all working from home I don't necessarily need to be in Scotland. I have two sisters but both have their own families and one is abroad.
I am very close to my Mum and am desperately worried about how much time she has and if they will cancel her treatment for being 'non-essential' It is a harsh new reality we are in. I know that if I make the decision to go I will need to self-isolate for at least a week and that I would then be in my parents' home for the duration of this lockdown. To complicate matters, my father and I do not have a great relationship and I know it would be very difficult to live with him. I don't want to go and add a strained atmosphere to the house. I don't want to become resentful. Or even bored, if I can be so bold as to mention that.
Am I being selfish? I have a life of sorts here but now that we cannot go out it doesn't have so much significance. I am so angry that my Mum, whilst she is feeling relatively well, cannot see her family or enjoy the time she has left. I know that there are so many people in the same position.
Is anyone else going through this deliberation? I think about it constantly now and just don't know what to do. I know it is my decision but any advice or insights would be much appreciated.
Thank you
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm sorry to hear that your mum has incurable cancer and it must be a very difficult time for you at the moment with the coronavirus restrictions.
As you say, the decision on whether to move into your parent's home is ultimately yours but remember, there is no right or wrong decision just what is right for you at this moment in time.
If you're worried that moving in with your parents isn't the right thing at the moment, could you keep in touch with your mum through regular calls using Skype, Facetime, etc? I know this isn't the same as being there with her but might it be a compromise?
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
