Frightened

Hi Charlie 12 

sending you a big hug and lots of love xx I can’t take away any of the pain but I can listen if you need to rant scream or cry 

sunsarah 

Hello - I have some understanding through my own shoes. My partner and I have been coming to terms with the end,  decline and facing death. The difficult thing for him  / us has been working out how to move away from hope and treatments towards acceptance and courage. He has been facing the end now for a couple of months.  We are in the land of pain management and managing disability. Today I have taken him to the hospice for respite and my heart wrench at driving home alone was something that I am going to have to learn to deal with. We have spent a lot of time talking about end of life planning and I think this helped him feel he still had control over his living as well as his dying. 

Aside from accepting that things will not get better, I have found that I need to spend a lot of time and energy on managing my fear (of the future) and uncertainty - we dont know how long, but he has gone on longer than people thought.  And the final thing I find the toughest is watching someone in agony and being completely helpless. 

We were lucky to get all the relationships with community services and hospice in place, so although this is a sad time, we have lots of support in place ahead of time, so that it has been smooth and supportive. I am a hospice fan, the support from them once he got the Terminal  End of Life label has been astonishing and although it was like a door we did not want to go through, it has opened up a whole few months of quality of life, laughter and support being put in place.  

I wish you well, I read your profile and you have had a tough journey. Wishing you well. 

I am here because my parther is in agony. Again. Due to not being able to take oral meds he is in hospital. Away from me and kids. Suffering. Alone. I have no idea what he is hoing though but I am scared he will die without me there. 

How do you know when it is that bad? He is so positive when he has no pain. Chemo was supposed to start yesterday. Did not happen so hopefully today. But will he be able to take it. Will he be able to stay alive? 

Please share your thoughts. 

I feel so alone. And can't even imagine how he must feel.