A close friend is dying of lung cancer

My friend, of 30 years, is dying of lung cancer.

The biggest problem is that they are in a care home 250 miles away and I can't get to see them.

Am struggling to come to terms with this as only found out last month. I feel more like an observer, having to intervene remotely when have concerns about the care they are receiving.  

Emotionally exhausted and it is hard to know what to do when I can't actually see them.

Feeling lost and rather useless.

  • Hi  and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community but sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about your frue da diagnosis. It must be so hard being so far away no wonder you are struggling. 

    A cancer diagnosis like this can be challenging in so many ways but talking with others who are walking the same type of cancer support journey can help you navigate this difficult time.

    The Community is organised into support groups and when  it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from talking with others caring for family and friends so do check out our Family and friendsCarers only and supporting someone with incurable cancer groups as you will connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.

    To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.

    You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'. 

    It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service can give lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.


    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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