Hi everyone, I was diagnosed this time last year with colorectal cancer T3N2M0. I had a robotic anterior resection followed by CAPOX (brutal). I have been given the all clear which is amazing and I should be happy but I'm so afraid of it coming back. I can't function properly. Constantly think about how I could end things. I feel really selfish for feeling like this as I know there are a lot of others in much, much worse situations. Does anyone else have feelings like this?
Hi BecksB
I doubt that there's anyone on the online community who doesn't worry about their cancer coming back even if, like you, they've been given the all clear. You might find this booklet from Macmillan on worrying about cancer coming back helpful in dealing with the feelings you might be experiencing.
Macmillan have also teamed up with Bupa to offer up to 4 free counselling sessions for people struggling emotionally because of their cancer diagnosis. Click here if you'd like more information about this and to see if you qualify.
Please also talk to your GP as you say that you "constantly think about how I could end things". Your GP will want to support you and find ways to help you. Samaritans have a confidential 24 hours a day helpline so please do give them a call if you feel that life is becoming overwhelming.
As the online community is divided into different support forums I'm going to recommend a couple for you to join. The first is the bowel cancer forum where you'll connect directly with others who have the same diagnosis as you and will understand the implications of the treatment that you've had and how that might leave you feeling.
The second forum is the life after cancer forum which is for cancer survivors and people who have finished treatment. It is a space to discuss things like the physical and emotional after effects of cancer, returning to work, or trying to move on with your life.
To join either or both of these forums, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
Sending virtual (((hugs)))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi BecksB
I’m Steph and I’m part of the Online Community Team here at Macmillan. May I wish you another warm welcome to the Community, although I’m sorry that circumstances bring you here.
It’s positive that you are reaching out for some support from the Community. I hope you've found latchbrook 's reply to be helpful and I hope that you will continue to use the Community for support. I have some additional suggestions for ongoing support.
I’d really encourage you to use our Support Line to talk things through and to get some further support going forward with the way that you are feeling.
Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
It’s not uncommon for people who have been through a cancer diagnosis to experience low mood and depression. There are people who are there to listen and help you through this.
Your GP is also there to help with the way that you're feeling - do you think you might also make an appointment with your GP? There is some more information from the NHS here called ‘Help for suicidal thoughts’.
A few members have posted on the Community recently about attending the Macmillan HOPE course. Lots of people find it can really help with the way that they are feeling.
As already mentioned, the Samaritans have a line you can call at any time, every day of the week. The free number is 116 123.
Please do let us know if you have any questions or if you’d like some help using the Community or further help with anything at all. You can reach out to us privately at community@macmillan.org.uk
Hi BecksB I can add very little to the two excellent replies save to sympathise. I am a five year survivor of oropharyngeal cancer. The treatment was particularly brutal severely burning my mouth and throat to such an extent that I couldn’t eat for 8 weeks. I do know how you feel.
Please find the time to read this essay by psychologist Dr Peter Harvey who before he retired worked with cancer patients.
It really resonated with me and I still refer to it from time to time
www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/.../After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
I wrote a blog about my cancer. just click on the link below
https://todaymycoffeetasteslikechristmasincostarica.com
