Struggling after successful treatment

Hi and warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although sorry that you had to find us and especially sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing.

A cancer diagnosis in the family can truly effect all the family and more than often it’s the family members looking on that have a harder battle.

Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing and a lot of these services have moved onto online video support but one on one support is opening up.... Maggie’s helped me navigate a very traumatic portion of my treatment journey.... verging in PTSD.

Talking with others who are walking the same type of journey will help you navigate this challenging time.

The Community is organised into support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Family and friends group as this will be a good place to connect with families navigating the same type of post cancer journey.

To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens.

You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones), you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'. 

Do also call our Macmillan Support Services as it provides lots of information, support or just a listening ear.

Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.

((hugs))

Hi MumD,

Felt like I couldn't read this and not reply. I am so sorry to hear about your son. I have had cancer myself, but I would prefer that any day to one of my children having it. I am no oracle about all of this - but I guess other people's problems seem more straightforward than our own sometimes ! No-one could go through what you went through without being severely affected. You chose to be positive during his treatment (lord knows how), and now the feelings you put in a box inside you have to come out. They have to - and I think we have to see that as part of the healing process. Take any / all help you are offered - including medication if it helps - it's not forever, just to get you over a rough patch. Try not to criticise / question yourself for having these v understandable feelings.

I am less 'wise' ,with myself ! Deep breath....  I have recently finished treatment for ovarian cancer. I had 2 big operations and unfortunately I am also going through a really difficult divorce from a very difficult man, who has been dreadful to me almost throughout. He is (hopefully) moving out in about 2 weeks  - after almost a year of truly awful behaviour since I said I wanted to divorce him.  I have had to do all the bad news, hospital stays, etc on my own, because of the pandemic, and the way he is. At one point, we thought I had a terminal prognosis, and I had to contemplate not seeing my children grow up. Even then, he was dreadful to me. Fortunately, my final prognosis is good.

I am also going back to work next month. I feel like I should be happy / celebrating, but I just feel exhausted, indecisive and a bit broken by it all. I am only telling you this so you know you aren't alone in having these kinds of feelings. I am sure it must be so much worse when it is your child.  I am also dreading my next scan.I guess we will both have to hope that time will 'normalise' some of this stuff and make it less stressful, slowly but surely.

Sending you all best wishes. Xx

Hi mum sorry to hear aboat your son but God bless him he got through it know its time for you to stop worrying and start enjoying life with him again 

Thank you so much for taking the time to message me.  I have good days and bad and I suppose also going through peri menopause doesn’t help.  Since I admitted my feelings to my friends and family I have had so much love and support.  I have decided to avoid the medication for now as the side effects look awful and I have found a local support group who I have contacted.  I’m so sorry to hear how tough your year has been.  Once you’ve been through cancer treatment it makes you put things into prospective and realise what you do and don’t need in your life (like your husband).  I’m so pleased that the future looks better for you and just take one day at a time and make sure you have great friends and family around for the harder days.  My son’s nurse said my feelings are completely normal and I will get less anxious at his check ups.  I’ve just got to put my positive head on.

wishing you all the best xxx

Thank you for your kind message...you are so right xxx

Thank you for your reply and information.

Best wishes x