Parenting with cancer

Hi all,

I am 31 with a five year old child. I was diagnosed with incurable brain cancer last year and given 5-8 years to live. I had surgery, radiotherapy, and now part way through a year of chemo. 

Does anyone have any tips for parenting during this difficult time? 

My son knows I had surgery and that I had a ‘lump’ or ‘tumour’ taken out of my head, and that I had something called ‘radiotherapy’ where I had to lay on a bed with a mask everyday. He also now knows I take tablets once a month that make me feel very sick.

I am concerned as he seems to mostly cope with it all (even if he doesn’t always let me rest when I need it), but I can definitely see he is worried and he seems more irritable on the weeks I am on chemo. As he is only five, I am unsure what support there is for him that wouldn’t confuse him and make him feel like ‘why are people talking to me about my dad?’.

I also struggle to know what to say when he says things like ‘when will you get better?’ Because although I will feel well at times, ultimately my cancer is incurable so I am not going to ‘get better’ in that sense.

I also struggle to keep him entertained whilst I am feeling unwell without just sticking him in front of the TV for hours on end and I don’t want to do that.

Sorry for such a long post. Advice from others in a similar situation also very welcome as many people up the hospital seem at least 20 years older than me and are unable to relate.