Lovely morning chit-chat thread- April 2025

All my adult life I had a fear of cancer. My mum was the same so maybe she transfered her fears to me. I nursed my mother, my eldest brother and my dad to end if life with it. I then in my later life worked in a dementia care home and did end of life care. I learned so much about dying in a positive way. However, the big cancer still terrified me until it came and got me. Firstly came the heart attack.  I was healthy, I was shocked. But there was a shift in the meaning  of life me.  Years I lived life as you do. Just doing but not being.  And now I was grounded by ill health, taking my time with my rehab realising that in a moment life could be taken from me. 6 months later I found about the cancer.  The relief strangely was palpable. It wasn't that ghost that haunted me all my life. Now I had something tangible I could deal with on a practice level not on an ethereal level.

I am a brooder, I am a strong, to my own  detriment, an deep empath, I don't care for me but soak up and try and relieve everyone else's woes and pain. I had a full nervous breakdown when my 2nd child was born so am prone to clinical depression. At times life has been hard.

Now I wake in a morning, body aching, head not clear, the negative thoughts pop in first, then I realise, I woke up, I am alive   given another day of living. It might turn out to be a good day or bad. But I am alive. 

The future I have sorted as best as I can for my husband and children for when I am gone.

So i live, love and just be. I don't deal with dramas anymore. I am always, always there for friends and family, but in a different capacity. It's on my terms not theirs. Strangely it has made them grow too. Especially my younger brother and nephew who both drained a lot of my emotional energy over the years.

Obviously I don't want to pass over just yet.

I do love life.  As you all know cancer isn't easy but it doesn't frighten me anymore.

We are all different characters so this may not resinate with most.

I have learnt so much in the last 18 months about me. It's refreshing.

Ty Chelles for making me think and formulate my feelings

Hugs an love you all as ever

Hi

I found it is liberating that I don’t have a ‘future’. Because a lot of times, we spend time worrying about the future, worst case scenario and not living in the present. 

With my diagnosis, the ‘worst’ case has already happened, there is nothing more to fear or waste my time on. I can now just concentrate on every day. I feel most at peace since i can remember.

x

You have it in a nut shell

A peace and serentity I never felt before.

My healthy friends just don't get it. They get cross because they think i am being blasé about it all.

Onward sweetheart 

Hugs  

Lovely Read.

Though I think really you have started a new thread.

Its is a chit chat thread, I did one yesterday because, it was not really suitable for chit chat.  

Though thanks for your thoughts.

You are correct about chit chat..so sorry..I thought it was on a single topic I pressed

My apologies to everyone...

No need for apologies, the chit chat thread, is what it says.

Other  wise gets taken over by more in depth topics.

Enjoy your day

Sorry I did see it as chit chat, chatting about something I saw on tv ‍♀️

My fault..I didn't mean to but I made it heavier...

But on a chit chat note...

I just baking my egg custard tarts...yummy

And just made the liver bones for Phoebe 

If anyone needs the recipe it's so easy..it is a filling I made for stuffing those hollow bones.

Your can use chicken or lamb or pork too. Never tried it but I suppose u could use vegetables too..

It gives Phoebe a little relax time and isn't full of rubbish..

Well I hope u all enjoy this wonderful sunshine. 

Hugest hugs..

I don't watch reality tv but I agree it is wonderful to see someone saying that cancer is just a slice of the pie and not the whole thing. There has been so much in the news etc about cancer and people are starting to talk about it and surely that can only be a good thing!?!

can I ask where is a good place to get wigs/

and where has the warm spring sun gone!

Hi Fleabane, thank you for your support.

The results weren't quite what I was looking for but I'm trying to focus on the positive part. So I will keep my chin up and deal with other part after the next scan.

Helen