I didn't think I was stressed. I thought I was quite calm, and doing okay. But my body says otherwise - BP and heart rate are higher than post-diagnosis. And reflecting on this I've realised I'm not okay. I've put up a 'front' for people, trying to be the same me I was BC (Before Cancer). I'm always only 2 steps away from crying. I know I have a big mental box marked "DENIAL - things not to think about". It's still early-ish days, 4 months since cancer, 3 months since incurable cancer. I still don't have a clear treatment plan (hopefully tomorrow when I meet my oncology specialist nurse). And I have a crappy week with 3 additional medical appointments and I hate people interfuttering with me almost as much as my cat does! And this is it from now on. Scans and exams and injections and infusions and bloods etc etc etc. But..... does it get better? Is there a "new normal" that doesn't feel like this? Can I last a week without needing tissues? I'm so tired of this fight and it's only just begun.
Patrick xx
Patrick xx
Leelaloo I found your comment asking about froggie! Just posted on chit-chat thread as my memory is rubbish. I've garnished frog the first, now started a different pattern for frog the second! Here's him:
Gilpat your allotment looks so much more established than ours, I love it! We got a patch of what looked like scrub land with loads of dock leaves 2 years ago at this time of year. We've made progress but our beds are dug into the earth and marked by the stones we dug out. The paths are weedy grass and the main path is a membrane covered with a little woodchip. But it's ours, we're making progress, just wish I had permission to be back out there. But in time....
Lex - xx
Good morning Lex. I love your frog you are so talented. I really am rubbish with knitting, croteching etc, the only thing Im good at is drinking wine 
. Im on similar medication to you with Exemastane as didnt get on with Letrazole, ribociclib and denosumab. I do like gardening but with the mets in bones cant do it at the moment. I am looking forward to the warmer weather when I can potter in the garden, the sun does make a difference. Have a good day.
Lee 2 x
