Feeling low

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply with support and advice. ️

Thank you for your kindness in replying to me. It means a lot to hear about other people’s challenges and how they face them. ️

Huge thanks to everyone who sent a reply to me. Can’t tell you how much that means to me. I’ve had a tough day with terrible fatigue so just getting round to logging on again. I’m sure I’ll feel stronger tomorrow. But I hope to chat to you again soon. You’ve given me plenty to think about. What is disturbing is how some of you have also “lost” friends after your diagnosis.  I just don’t understand it. I also know it’s sometimes very hard to ask for help. The fact I don’t look “ill” tends to make folk forget I just can’t do as much anymore.  The number of times I’ve heard “oh you’re looking well”, or “oh yes, I’m tired too”. I guess people don’t like being confronted by illness. I used to visit a very dear friend who has since died from bowel cancer. Other friends didn’t go to see her because they said they wouldn’t know what to say. Such a shame.

Anyway, I’m back to my heated blanket.  It does wonders for my achey tired legs.  
Thank you again everybody. ️️️

Oh I love my heated throw I've put it away now till winter but your making me want to get it out again ha ha xx

Hah! I always have it near

Hi Skaro and welcome to the Group. Sorry for the late welcome but I am on holiday, just for a weeks break in Durham. I know exactly what you mean about your friends disappearing. Before diagnosis I was in a Tennis club in the summer, a Badminton Club in the winter and my friend and I went for long walks and even went on Walking holidays in the Lake District and all over Scotland, all year round. I also did Tai Chi Chuan. Now I am not able to even go for a short walk as I need elbow crutches or a wheelchair and they are all still active. I am lucky I don't live alone and really admire the people here who do not have a partner, husband or family living with them.

Sometimes it is the easiest thing, just to do nothing but I do try to do some gardening but have to stop and start. I do envy people who can just go for a walk in the fresh air, for me that would be magic. You could try to go for a short walk even twice a week to start and I'm sure you would feel the benefit. It wouldn't have to be too far from home and you can talk to others out doing their garden or walking their dog. Small things can make such a difference. I am glad you found us because you will not be alone now as there is always someone about!

Thanks Annette, and I’m sorry you’re no longer to do all your activities.  I remember a specialist nurse saying you have to grieve the life you had, and adapt to your new life.  Easier said than done!  I do get out for short walks, and can manage a little gardening but then I get carried away and try and do more than I’m really able and then suffer the consequences (like today where I’ve been in bed and also on the sofa and nothing else).  I have a wheelchair I use now and again if out shopping, or on holiday, so that’s something.  I never know when the fatigue will fell me..

sending all good wishes to you x

Hi Skaro and a warm welcome from me, none of us are the person we were yesterday, how could we be, like most people on here, my life is not the one I hoped for, but it is still a life and a life worth living, I am blessed with a wonderful family, but have lost many friends, though my friends from my time in healthcare have stuck by me and see me and not the cancer. Like you I was losing interest in many things i used to enjoy, It took me time to accept i can't walk 10 miles or do gardening for 6 hours anymore and be grateful I can walk "slowly" for 15 minutes or potter in the garden off and on for maybe a hour. I love to read and study and cook which require little effort. I also don't like taking pills unnecessarily, though knew i was in a rut and wasn't going to take anti-depressants so went on a wellbeing course which got me back on track after going through a tough time, my treatment is failing diagnosed with neuropathy, osteoporosis and being tested for MS. So today life is ok most of the time, though do have a few side effects and niggles including brain fog, or CRCC as it is also known, which you can do something about, Skaro, I looked it up, is a planet on Dr Who, which I didn't know as I watch very little TV, I do like going to beaches, over 250 now, was wondering which one your on on your profile, best wishes.

Eddie

Hi Skaro, I think because we used to be able to do things easily, we tend to think we sometimes think still can! At the start of the season in spring when I started doing the garden, I pushed myself too far and suffered for days. I thought to myself, well at least I know why I'm sore today! I came to the conclusion that wasn't a good idea, so now when I do some gardening, I set the alarm on my mobile or tell my husband to give me a shout in 10-15 mins, then I stop, sit down and have a drink of water or tea. Then I do the same again. I realised I can achieve more in short bursts than waiting until my body is shaking! We do I think come to terms with the fact we can no longer do the things we used to do but it doesn't come easily!

Like Eddie, I was wondering where you were in your profile photo. Mine too is on a beach doing Tai Chi. Are you doing Yoga or what?

Hi Eddie

So much of you say is true, such as losing interest in things and having to adapt or be grateful for the things one can do. I also seem to enjoy a lot of what you mention, although for some reason I’ve not read a book for months and months (and I always had a book in my hand). Although I’ve been ill for 5 years it just seems to be hitting me more recently. I also gave up work - took early retirement - so I missed a lot of being busy and chatting to work pals etc. Weirdly Covid had a cushioning effect of stopping me miss all that because everyone was struggling and isolating. I hear such a lot about living in the moment and that seems great advice but I’m not good at following it. I’ve lost a few friends in the last 5 years or so and that’s been hard. Others have been unwell too, and goinf their own cancer stories. I did have a lovely weekend away with my husband and two friends in April - we stayed in Bamburgh.  That beach has such lovely memories for me as a kid and then later on too.  Being by the sea whether it’s freezing or just above freezing () gives me a lot of contentment but I don’t live anywhere near water. And yes, Skaro is the planet of the Daleks! I’ve watched Dr Who since the very first episode when I was 5. I still have lots of little daleks around the house! 
I can’t remember the photo I have on my profile page! It’ll probably be the north of Scotland or Orkney.  Will check.

thanks for replying

Skaro