Feeling low

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This is difficult to write, especially knowing that others are experiencing very difficult times right now.  I have an incurable blood cancer (ET), and although my symptoms/side effects of the medication are manageable I’m finding I just can’t feel positive about anything. I don’t have the energy to go out and enjoy things like I used to (I do occasionally see friends for coffee). I don’t have children and my elderly siblings live at least an hour away. I am married but my spouse is out at work during the week so I spend a lot of time on my own which I know isn’t always very helpful.  I used to be creative with painting and making little stained glass pieces but I can’t see the point of making anything. I don’t play my instruments anymore either. On the face of it I seem fine but I’m good at hiding things. I know one or two of my friends find it uncomfortable dealing with my condition and how I’m not the same person I was a few years ago. Anyway, thanks for listening. I don’t like being like this and I don’t want to go on any medication to make me feel better, as I’m on enough pills as it is!  I seem to have been giving a lot of emotional help to others recently too, which I’m happy to do, but I’m now feeling a bit thinly spread.
Sending you all love and support.  


  • Hi Skaro This is normal to feel like that and can assure you  we all go through issues. You sound like a busy bee person a bit like myself , I have cars and work for myself and all that has stopped , I might do one or two jobs a week at a push and nothing with the cars bar basic things. I am only on 11 pills for my heart  issue but I get what you are saying . I think it really helps to get your head in the right frame of mind by fully accepting the situation and being happy that it's out of our control. I have been ill for years but won't let it beat me , Why should I  the alternative is no good . I dont want  someone wiping my arse if I can avoid it .  Full steam ahead pedal to the metal , Do what little bit I can each day and dont beat myself up about what I can't do. Life can be great being ill it's how you deal with it and look at it. Think positive is my advice and have your treats and try and do little bits like I do. I wiped a dusty book yesterday and put it over my amplifier to stop dusk getting in , Keep strong All the Best Minmax Have you tried listening to audible books ? Chives and Wooster helped me   

  • Hi as we say on the incurables, Big Girl Knickers? Pants on.

    We all have done moments, you are a creative person, then set your self a goal, a small one, a small glass stained piece or just a small panting, even if it takes you over a week, some thing to focus on,

    You will be so pleased, when you have accomplished it, only you can pull yourself out of the deep hole, you may be in.

    Life is still worth living, though different to the life we may have had.

    So glad you find the group, and hopefully in a little while you will post, telling us you 

    have accomplished a small task, then another and so on, always some one here to, listen.

    You can get back to the way you used to fill, without medication, the mind is a terrible thing at times, but you can turn it round, and make your life mean some thing once more. 

  • Hi skaro, I think we are all the same , I know iam friends have disappeared and some family too but maybe its hard for them and dont know how to approach us , i take my dog out and mostly take myself for lunch if wife is at work at different places to pass time , i keep saying ill get a new hobby but cant be arsed, one thing for sure is we can all come on here and have a sulk or chitchat and keep strong


  • Your right Lee, it is only some one going threw it, that truly understands, hence why this group is another life line at times.

  • That's very true Ellie I was diagnosed late last year and it's a very fast learning curve, just seeing and meeting the same people as myself is eye opening and also very warming too, I go Christie's to see people that I met there and have lunch once a week


  • When we get diagnosed, we always  thing we are the only one, then meet others, here, at chemo unit, or in the hospital, really we are never alone.

  • We're not lepers either , were poorly and there's a lot worse than cancer out there 


  • Your right, lots of conditions, all depends which one you are given as such.

    I did find it hard when my hubby got it after me, then daughter, but we got on with it, had to., 

  • It's all we can do! Nearly pill time here anyway hopefully I'll sleep and see what tomorrow brings 


  • Hi Lec I honestly dont know if I would even be here without this website and that's the truth. Odd how you can get so depressed about how your life might be finishing early and that  you could ever think of speeding the process up. I have been ill for years but found a new lease of life by getting counselling and dealing with the situation and being positive, Didnt help partner of 30 year leaving but that's all ok and were still friends and then being diagnosed with heart failure etc . But you know it's all good and I just get on with it and enjoy life as much as I can . I am happy and   very healthy with no major pains or disability so all good here , Long may it stay that way I say . All the Best to Everyone  Regards Minmax That's great about going to Christies , I have met some lovely people at the cancer centre who have been really inspiring as I know  there is always someone worse off than yourself