Pessimistic and no faith!

Good morning. The rice pudding was delicious. Very much like my mums. There's another portion left for today. Thank you for your well wishes regarding the hospital today. Don't think there's any good news to be had from the fact that they've already told me these two anti cancer drugs probably won't work. However until I take them and until I know as to what the side effects are and whether I will be impacted means I've got nothing to lose in taking them anyway .Dilemmas, dilemmas lol To be honest I'm more concerned as to what they're going to do about the area near the collar bone where they've said the tumour looks to be about to burst through the skin. I'll see what they say. Looking forward to seeing your t shirt and hope you manage to upload the picture. Glad you got it done  Ahh I understand now about your HT. Still here's hoping it's still working and long may it continue. That's really good news about the oncologist appointment. It's about time. How did the spa go? I hope your wife made dinner lol I hope you had the most amazing time. I bet you did. Good luck with your cardiologist and I hope Maggie's goes well. Enjoy and take care 

Hi Marie Maggies Leeds nice, though half the group were missing, Cardiologist told me heart is stabilizing, and did an anxiety course at aurora Mexborough. Spa great went with friends we met at RT last year. Will not see my t shirt till end of March when they all go on display. I now have 3 oncology appointments all on the 19th, 2 in Doncaster 11.30 and 15.10 and one in Sheffield also at 15.10 priceless. Sheila and me are not married, I met her when looking after he husband who had terminal cancer, who was the nicest man i have ever known and somehow marrying Sheila didn't seem right. Mums rice pudding sounds gorgeous I hope you got a little bit of good news today, you deserve some, let me know. take care.

Eddie

Good morning and hope you are well. Wow that is a busy day. All sounds positive and wonderful. I hope you enjoyed. Appointment was okay, so to try and shrink that large swelling I will be having palliative radiotherapy. I guess if it shrinks it a little will be a great help. The anti cancer drugs will be put on hold till after radiotherapy. They also supplied me with proper pain relief. As much as I hate taking lots of tablets if it will enable me to be pain free is a good thing right. You won't believe this but I slept for nearly 10 hours last night. I'm in shock lol So you've gone from no oncology appointment to 3. Sounds about right huh. Not sure what I'm doing today. There's talk we may go to our favorite Chinese buffet tonight but I think we've left it too late to book, it's so popular. We shall see. Other than that not sure what we're doing yet. What plans have you today? Whatever you may be doing, take care and enjoy 

Morning Marie, it's good you have a plan, had radiotherapy RT on my prostate and it was obliterated, so hopefully it works for you, and upgraded your pain relief as well as you say who wants pain, and the anti cancer drugs to follow, I  have been offered palliative RT but only if Cancer gets to bones. Great another good nights sleep always a nice start to the day, give the Chinese buffet a call you never know, even we sometimes get a little good luck. Yesterday the anxiety course wasn't much help and I had a slow puncture all day so stopped 3 times for air also got an Email my 11.30 appointment has been cancelled, which I am happy about. Today shopping done have an injection at 11.30 then free to Monday afternoon so like you not sure what to do, would like to see family in Fort William but need to share the driving these days. we will see, take care and get yourself out. 

Eddie

Good morning and hope I find you well. We went to the Chinese but we was disappointed. They'd changed the way things were done and the quality had gone right down hill. Such a shame as it was so good. Sorry to hear the anxiety course wasn't much help. Why was that? Ugh and the slow puncture!!! That doesn't help does it. Hope you got that sorted. Wow a visit to fort William sounds like a fantastic idea. I've not been but imagine it to be such a beautiful place. I hope you make a decision to go. So today we are visiting the Trentham Estate to walk the gardens and visit the monkey woods. Also I need to buy a new jacket. Not happy about that one but that swelling has meant I can't fit into the one I have. We'll get something nice to eat as well. There's lots of nice food places. What plans have you? Or are you going to tell me youre in fort William. Take care and enjoy your day 

Hi Marie, what a shame about the Chinese restaurant, why don't they just put the prices up to keep the quality. The anxiety course was ok, nice people but nothing new, though somehow the slow puncture has sorted itself, no Fort William as no one to share driving as it's too much for me.so went to recycling centre such fun. Trentham estate fab been a couple of times with my son, lots of places to shop and eat and a garden centre too, which is what i am doing today, time to get some seeds in, then later who knows, have a great time walking the gardens, hope it stays dry for you, and you find a jacket, we always eat at Frankie & Benny's,  take care.

Eddie xx

Hi and hope I find you well. Trenthams was great, loved it. Managed to get a comfy jacket, really pleased with it. We ate at Pieminister, pie and peas. Was yummy. Gardens and monkey forest were great. Really enjoyable day out. Today I have been lazy and not done much at all. Daughter got me flowers and candles and chocolate, really nice. She's cooking a prawn curry and already it smells delicious. Tomorrow morning I'm back at hospital for a scan for radiotherapy. I wasn't expecting to hear from them so soon and was expecting a bit longer hospital free but there you go. Good to hear you have been in the garden. What else have you been up to. Take care

Hi Marie, what a great mothers day, aren't daughters great, have you  been to Trenthams before as I have not been for 4 years and was wondering if everything is open as i have Wednesday free and thought we might go, I know your going to be very disappointed but when i said we, I meant Sheila LOL, glad you got a new jacket, hope it keeps you warm, giving away my age there, Prawn curry with chocolates to follow, I'm jealous, I don't know if you have had RT before but you will find the radiographers the nicest and most helpful people you could wish to meet in a hospital, but good luck anyway. 30 mins on allotment saw to hens and home then family dinner on the farm which i slept through half of it, I'm still waiting for your mums rice pud recipe, send it by friends as you can;t give it to just anyone, Don't eat too much or your new jacket won't fit, enjoy your day.

Eddie

Hi Marie hope your ok after your trip to hospital and it went smoothly with no unwanted incidents, just another 30 minutes on the garden again, i hope it's the weather that's making me lose interest and not me. though there are other things i have stopped doing recently, hopefully some warm sunshine will sort me out. Do you or did you have plans for today other than hospital maybe get some new clothes to match the jacket. I'm off to exercise class soon and i hope it's not a struggle again. take care.

Eddie xx

Good morning and hope I find you well. As far as I'm aware Trenthams was all open. I haven't been before that was the first time. I could see that the odd shop was closed down but other than that it was all okay. It was very busy, really enjoyed it. I'm very disappointed the we doesn't include me, I got all excited there lol So, the radiotherapy went well. I had the CT scan and they did new tattoos. You're right they were really nice and made me feel very welcome. I have had radiotherapy before when I had cancer the first time round in 2011. I had 3 weeks worth. Then I had it at Castle Hill, Hull. Not sure when I start radiotherapy, they said the Doctor will ring me Thursday and then they will contact me after that to start it. I didn't do anything else after that, came straight home. We were there a couple of hours. they were 45 minutes behind. And it's rain, rain, rain here. You did well to do 30 minutes in the garden, I'm the same, it's not that we've lost interest, I think you just have to take each day as it arrives and see how you feel. Sometimes I have no motivation to do anything. And of course the weather does effect things. There is no denying sunshine motivates us. Ohhhh my I forgot the rice pudding recipe. Deary me. I will speak to daughter today and get that for you. How did your exercise go? I hope it was better for you this time. It's raining here again today. Not sure what plans I have. Partner is working but he did mention a food shop. What plans have you?