Pessimistic and no faith!

Morning Marie, Do not see myself as brave, to me it's the common sense option, You must pop into Maggies, I may go again as my relaxation therapy has moved to Thursdays so can't do it at Maggie in Leeds, Made some progress with t-shirt, though not today as taking my youngest and his family to seaside, Looks like your in for a lovely weekend, a family dinner and no cooking sounds great to me, enjoy your shopping and i hope the weather is kind, no allotment for me either will have to make do with sowing seeds at home for a few days, PS don't like lamb so please do not invite me as i would have to refuse, have a wonderful weekend.

Eddie

Good morning, hope you are well. Good to hear you made some progress with the t shirt, you'll get there, small steps and all that. Ahhh wow the seaside, I love it. Where did you go and did you have fun? Was fish and chips on the menu? Shopping went well, we got everything we needed. Sorry you don't like lamb lol We don't have it often but my daughter has been recreating some of her nana's meals. My mum was such a good cook, she doesn't cook now obviously, she is mostly bed bound. Daughter has been trying to recreate the meals and the lamb is one of them. She is doing a grand job and it's all been rather entertaining. I fell asleep when we got back from shopping, slept for 5 hours. I seem to be doing that a lot of late. I've gone from I can't sleep to I can't get enough sleep. Not that I'm complaining I find it such a comfort. Aside from the lamb dinner not sure what plans I have for today. How about you? Enjoy, whatever you may be doing.

Morning Marie sounds like you had a great time, shopping, no doubt a cream cake or two and a lovely dinner made for you. Sleep if you need too, I do, sorry to hear about your nan, i grew up with my nan in the family, good times. Talking of recreating nan's meals my nan used to make a crumbly fudge at Christmas which was gorgeous but 100% unhealthy and i often made it with her only 4 ingredients but can i make it NO, great your daughter is trying, hope she's better at it than me. T shirt coming on, a touch of neuropathy so drawing not great. Took son and family to Aberystwyth as only a hour from Shropshire where they live, No fish and chips for me took a picnic, Marie my son has been having a really hard time with my diagnosis/prognosis and as a result i have not seen him for a year and only talked a few times on the phone, so yesterday was very important and i am happy to say it went better than i could have hoped for. No plans today, kna#ke#ed from yesterday though will walk dog to allotment and finish off my picnic for dinner.

Eddie

Good morning and hope you are well. The lamb dinner was yummy. Daughter did a grand job. And yes there wasn't cream cake but there was profiterole cream sundae lol Sorry you can't make nans crumbly fudge, sounds so yummy. Maybe keep trying and hopefully you will crack it in the end. Today daughters attempt is mums homemade rice pudding. I have to say this with a dollop of apricot jam is one of my absolute faves. Glad the t shirt is coming along but sorry about the neuropathy. I expect regardless it will still be a masterpiece. I hope you manage to attach a picture once you are done. I'm really sorry about your son Eddie, that's so sad. But I'm really glad to hear it went well, that's ace news. Here's hoping there will be another trip to the seaside again soon. It's sunny here today and I was thinking garden. But I have to go to the hospital. Although they've stopped chemo I still have to go and get my PICC line dressing changed. Ugh such a chore. What plans have you for today? Enjoy and take care 

What a wonderful time you are having with your daughter, .Seems we both had a great time with our kids , I am going to need your mums rice pud recipe T-shirt almost done a couple of hours later should do it Been to hospice for counselling  and GP for alzheimers test, all ok, what a relief. I am starting an art class today at aurora and exercise class straight after. I used to maintain Sheila' picc line,single,at home is yours being a double rule that out. Is your chemo stoppage temporary? Have my last HT jab in 3 months, if they want to continue it, i will stop on it, but i have decided i do not want any other treatments, take care.

Eddie

Daughter didn't get round to making the rice pudding yesterday. It will be done at some point no doubt and of course, yes, I will let you know the recipe. Guessing you're a fan of rice pudding too. Hope you managed to get the t shirt done and really pleased to hear counseling and Alzheimer's test went well, that's ace news. How did the art class and exercise class go? Well I hope. I got my PICC line done but was in there for more than 2 hours! I have no idea if it can be done from home but I will ask the question next time. Thanks for the info. I also popped into Maggie's. Finally! I picked up course information and a couple caught my eye. I need to have a better look but don't think that will be today. Had a bad night's sleep last night so think I will be lazing today. No chemo stoppage is not temporary. The scan showed it had no effect on the tumour so they have stopped it. There is no other chemo for the cancer. I completely respect your decision to have no further treatment. Please may I ask why. They have offered me 2 anti cancer drugs for my cancer but at the same time told me they probably won't work. Doesn't give you any incentive does it. I have the same thoughts. Should I even bother. Enjoy your day and take much care

Hi Marie, busy day today, sorry to hear you never got any rice pudding, I know you were looking forward to it, A poor nights sleep as if we don't have enough problems. How can it take 2 hours to get your PICC line sorted, when i did Sheila's the district nurse showed me what to do, watched me do it once and signed me off as competent. So sorry to hear chemo didn't work and has been stopped and that the drugs they have offered may or may not work, like you say, you wouldn't rush out to buy them, though it would be helpful to talk to those who have had them, You got to Maggies well done, what caught your eye, the relaxation course is good and helps with sleeping, T-shirt done last identity and loss class today though we are going to meet up every 2 weeks. , exercise a struggle again and alzheimers test a nightmare. never again. Art class ok though much prefer doing it by myself and love counselling, told Jo my counsellor about stopping treatment and she asked me if i would like to have weekly sessions which i did. Marie, my reason for refusing further treatment, I am on HT, have last injection in 12 weeks, i know it's doing what it's supposed to do and stopping my testosterone production, but my cancer is still spreading. If they want to continue it i am ok with that. as minimal side effects. But i feel ok, i don't know how with everything i have and don't want some treatment which  may not work taking that away from me, hope you enjoyed your lazy day, take care.

Eddie xx

Morning Marie, how are you feeling today, hope you had a better night sleep and your lazy day has been helpful and you have plans for today, hopefully something you enjoy doing. I know what a bummer it is to be told treatment is not working or not an option for whatever reason and deciding whether to keep trying or not is an awful thing to think about, Marie I took about 4 months to decide to stop treatment even though it wasn't a difficult choice from a personal perspective, It was my family and how they would react and cope that made a simple choice so difficult. Sheila is taking me to the Spa today, Christmas present, don't know if it's a late one from last year or an early one for next year, take care.

Eddie xx

Good afternoon and hope I find you well. I had a much better sleep thank you and I'm doing good. Out today, went for a full english with the daughter this morning and browsed the shops. And she has cooked the rice pudding today so I will be enjoying that later. Good to hear you finished your t shirt hope you are pleased with it. The courses I saw at Maggies are yes, the relaxation one, the stress and sleep one and the look good feel good one. Until I go to the hospital tomorrow and find out what their intentions are I won't know when I'm available, so I'll get that out the way first before I decide as to what I would like to do. I totally respect your decision not to have further treatment and I understand the family thing, they do after all want you around for as long as possible. If the HT is doing what it is supposed to do why would they stop it? You're right though it is an extremely difficult decision to have to make but I am sure you will have given it much thought and consideration and that you are happy in your decision. I really hope that you go on feeling as well as you do for some time yet. This is the thing with treatment, the side effects and it's all about quality of life in the time that you have left. Some of these treatments don't extend life much more than if you hadn't had them anyway and this is why people choose quality of life over treatment. Ooooh the spa!!! That's ace, how lovely. I hope you have had a wonderful time. How did it go? 

Hi Marie, a better nights sleep and a trip out with family sounds good to me as does a fry up and rice pud with apricot jam, I can almost smell it here' Relaxation course is great, didn't do stress but have done wellbeing at aurora, tried to get on the look good course but was told i am beyond help. I hope you get some good news tomorrow you deserve it. The t-shirt is ok, i will take a photo and try to upload it. HT has a best before date 18 to 24 months and it stops working, popped into my cancer hospital on way, to pick up a couple of friends, they have a cancer charity similar to Maggies and mentioned my oncologist issues and she got me an appointment while we talked, it's in 2 weeks, We are at the Spa now, just waiting for someone who takes forever to get ready to hurry up we are off to dinner without her, I'm at Maggies tomorrow, my cardiologist wants to see me asked me to pop in, in the morning luckily it's 5 minutes from Maggies, Good luck again for tomorrow.

Eddie