Pessimistic and no faith!

To be honest Eddie I'm still getting to grips with how this works and I thought this was the normal. I am completely happy to chat wherever, whenever. I didn't even know you could post privately ?? Or, I didn't know you could friend people. Deary me, I'm not very good am I. Should we be chatting this way in the future give me heads up as to what I need to do. Thanks!!

It did help yes. I felt much better and very refreshed. There was lots of new growth and even some flowers. It was so good to see. Unfortunately I didn't get out there yesterday, my energy levels dropped and fatigue had kicked in. But such is the nature of the beast, I shall wait for a better day there's no rush. Ughhhh I'm dreading the meeting with Oncology, feeling scared, but thank you for your kind thoughts and well wishes. 

Hi Marie, wish I could say something to help before your appointment today but what can you say, it's just not a nice place to be, though i hope it goes well for you. Radcliffe was nice even found a pub that lets dogs in, Odd means weird, her Uni friends are all 35+ but act like their 15, though could be I am just old, popped into Maggies in Nottingham on way home so no progress with T-shirt, that will be today after memory course, I have everything crossed for you today, take care. PS stay as we are with posting works for me.

Eddie

Good morning. Thank you for your well wishes but yes, as expected, shitty news. The chemo has not touched the tumour and they have stopped treatment. There is no other chemo that will treat it. They have two anti cancer drugs to try but she has told me already they are unlikely to work but still to try. She is concerned about an area up near the collar bone where she says the tumour doesn't look to have much more room to grow and is concerned it may burst through the skin. She discussed possible radiotherapy for this but I already got told previously the tumour was too large and too close to the heart so not sure about that one. And lastly the tumour is very close to the lung and she said it will overwhelm it. Don't thing I want to think about that one at the moment. Feeling crap but I know you know how this process works, just got to go with it huh and that's all I'm saying on that one. Glad you had a great day in Nottingham yesterday. Are you in Nottingham Eddie? What did you think to Maggies? And how did your memory course and t shirt go? Did you manage to get anything done? Not sure what I'm up to today, not sure what mood I'm in and it's raining. I shall take the day as I find it. Enjoy your day whatever you may be doing.  

Morning Marie, I am truly gutted for you, Looks like you have some thinking to do, I have been through the "there is nothing more we can really do for you", talk and as you say it's shitty, but I have come to terms with it with help from others. I live in Bentley just north of Doncaster, Maggies in Nottingham was great, only had half a hour, had a chat and cuppa with one of the cancer support team and a couple of the regular ladies, no time for T-shirt but hopefully today, sending you lots of hugs.

Eddie

I'm so sorry to hear this news! I had my fingers crossed for you...

Sending lots of virtual hugs

Kate

Hi MarieT 

I'm very sorry to read about the news at your appointment. I hope that they can decide on a plan for you.

A x

Good morning to you. Thank you and I'm glad you have come to terms with the there is nothing more they can do. We have no choice do we. You're very brave and that's good to hear. Glad Maggies in Nottingham was worth the trip. Do you know I haven't been in there yet. I pass it all the time but never seem to go in. Their website is very useful, I've accessed it previously for information. I hope you will consider paying it another visit. Did you manage to get the t shirt done? Daughter is staying with us, so good to have her here. She is going to cook a roast lamb dinner tomorrow. Yummy. So we are heading to the shops today to get what we need. I was also hoping to get back out in the garden but we have rain again. I'll see how goes it. What plans have you?

Thank you for your kind thoughts

thank you and I believe they have some plan. It's just they've already told me it probably won't work. Doesn't give you much incentive does it. I'm back next Thursday and for now I will try shelf it.