Pessimistic and no faith!

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Morning all, hope you are all keeping well.

Had an appointment with my Oncologist yesterday, he authorised another 9 chemo's. But I haven't yet had a scan to see what effect the first round of chemo has had. He said on the basis of questions he's asked  me, my responses and the look of the area concerned is a clear indicator that the chemo has had some effect on the tumour. This is positive news right? But still I am mentally unable to accept it and remain pessimistic to safeguard myself. I believe this is because I have no faith and went through such a bad rollercoaster time when they were trying to find a diagnosis. I mean amongst other mishaps they completed a scan and advised me it wasn't cancer I had a bleed. Yeah right, I actually had a 15 cm tumour, how the hells bells do you miss that on a scan huh!! Now when they give me positive news, I struggle to accept it as I'm so scared they'll give me hope but then only take it away again down the line. Does anybody else feel this way?

Food shopping today and I think a cream cake is in order! Hope you all enjoy your day whatever it is you may be doing. 

  • Oh Marie, I'm so sorry you had tough day yesterday with stomach pain, eating and keeping it down is good progress and fingers crossed for a  big  improvement tomorrow too, So off to Scotland tomorrow  only your second time Carnoustie is nice went many years ago to a golf tournament. and the weather was great, and so are the beaches, you'll love it and  Edinburgh, so your daughter wants to see the macabre and supernatural, no surprises there, there is a fab deli in Edinburgh called Valvona and Crolla if you get time, hope you all have a wonderful time, well you and Dave anyway  don't like to think what your daughter sees as a good  time, she's scary LOL. Have a fab holiday my friend you all deserve it. 

    Eddie xx 

  • Hi, Just wanted to say I hope you feel better and enjoy your trip. Two of the best insect repellents I have found that also send midges on their way are Avon's Skin So Soft oil spray, for after the shower and Boots own make After Sun with insect repellent! I always wear one or the other when going to gardens etc but at the coast you should be fine.

    Just take plenty of rest when you can, like lots of stops for tea/coffee, water and enjoy every minute!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Morning Annette, hope your not totally worn out and got home safely, how did your holiday in Dumfries with your sister go. Were the gardens everything you hoped for and hope you and your sister had a great time together, I only have one brother now and we have only ever had one holiday together in 40 years even though we are close, been very warm here, I hope it's not been too much for you though I'm sure if it was you would be having lots of ice cream to keep you cool, no doubt you will have your next trip planned already. take care.

    love Eddie xx 

  • Hi Eddie, Yes thanks we had a lovely time and Dumfries House & Gardens were just amazing, as was the coffee shop!! Everything was terrific apart from a mixup of rooms in the hotel but the Hotel itself was good. My other sister is in Portugal for a wedding or she might have come with us.

    Next break is closer to home, Vince and I are going to Ayr for 3 nights, there is a terrific ice cream shop there!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • I know that ice cream well Annette...my local cafe sells it! Lots of flavours to choose from. 

    kate

  • That's lovely to hear, I never understood how some people are happy never seeing their siblings and aren't bothered if they never see them again, I just had a thought about Helen NAN7, playing tickle with her 2 sisters, her favourite game different times, I do occasionally bump into her friends, I learned how remarkably similar our lives have been, right down to the ending, Annette in all my visits to Scotland I have only ever passed through Dumfries and only discovered Ayr recently and it's now my favourite seaside town in Scotland You really do love Ice cream,

    love Eddie xx 

  • Believe it or not Dumfries House is not in Dumfries, we stayed in a Hotel in Cumnock which was 5 minutes from DH. We didn't have an ice cream while there as the ice cream café was closed! Will make up for it in Ayr. The shop opposite the Bus Station is superb. I used to go there with my parents when I was young and it is the same family who own it. Just a different generation! The best fish & chip shop is next door!

    Love Annette x

    Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a Gift!!!
  • Hi Annette, no ice cream, how awful, guess you wont be going there again, why would you close an ice cream parlour in summer, so you've been going to Ayr for a long time then, must hold many happy memories for you, only been 3 times, wish I'd discovered it much , earlier, is the ice cream shop called Ronaldo's I'm sure we have been there though the beach is a big draw for me as is the one near Troon and the whole of Ayrshire,

    love Eddie xx

  • Good morning. Thank you eddie. Yes, the chemo tummy has not been good this time round, Feeling much better thank you, dare I say it, I don't want it to come back. Arrived in Scotland safely, the journey was tough. 7.5 hours, there was a traffic accident, delayed by an hour and a half. But on arriving and seeing the cottage it was all worth it, its a stunner. Sun is shining and heading to St Andrews today. Hope you're all keeping well, enjoy your day X

  • Good afternoon Marie, really pleased your feeling better, that must be a big relief, though sorry to hear about the delay, you don't need that anytime and not on a long journey, poor Dave, and you, must have been shattered, good to hear you all got there safely. hope you have/had a great time in St Andrews it's a really pretty town with some great places to eat, did daughter go on one of the famous ghost tours. I am doing ok thank you, have fun and take care.

    Eddie xx