Marriage problems

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Dear all, I am feeling desperate. I have been stage 4 melanoma since autumn 2019. This has put a huge strain on my marriage and my husband was withdrawn and angry mainly, for a long time, result in me and adult children asking him to leave home for a while in July. He just came back after 6 weeks and I was all set to welcome him with compassion, forgiveness and a fresh start. Then he told me he got close to another woman whilst away, they are attracted to each other, luckily did not sleep together but feel strongly attached. And he wants to keep in touch with her, he admits mainly as a kind of insurance policy for when I die. I have agreed to emails which I will be included in, reluctantly, and have asked him not to be in touch but he refuses this. It is so painful. I don't know if I can cope along with everything else. Reaching out for any support and also anyone who has had anything similar to cope with?

Salis over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

Good luck to you Tess, that is such a hard decision to make, but you really need to put yourself first here. He certainly won't.

Best wishes

Sarah

little-fi over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

Good on you Tess73 for coming to terms with it and making a decision that's right for your mental well being! You've got the support from your kids and in my book that's all that matters. You can hold your head up high. He doesn't deserve you.

I hope he does the decent thing in giving you some financial support.

Good luck with the next steps and stay firm and positive.

Best wishes

little-fi x

Divine Ms M over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

Good for you Tess and every good luck for you going forward x

ruthjp over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

That is good that he has made your decision much clearer for you now and you can move forward with your life xx

Ruth

chellesimo over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

Well done Tess for making the decision. You sound stronger already! You’ve got this !! Good luck xx

Chelle

Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud

Maya Angelou

KTatHome over 2 years ago

I’m glad you have made a decision that’s right for you.

Take care KT

Rainieday over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

Thinking of you as you go through this process. You will be stronger for it. Take care Tess . Much love, Rainie x

Remoh over 2 years ago

OMG what an utterly disgusting human being he is. Sorry to be so blunt but that was nicer than what I originally typed. I wish you all the best for your discussion with him and boy I hope the door hits him hard on the arse on his way out. The forum members I’m sure will be here with as much support as possible.

Richard

be safe, be nice, be you

YoungMan over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

Tess73 I'm really sorry that you have had to go through this. I'm pleased that you are making the right decision for you and not led by cancer.

If he really felt like that he should have made the decision himself without it reaching this point. I really hope you both can move on in a more positive way

Good luck and will be thinking of you

John

tvman over 2 years ago in reply to Tess73

Oh Tess, what an absolute pig of a man who makes me embarrassed to be male.

You do whatever you feel is best for you and your 3 adult kids but please ensure that you contact a good divorce solicitor who can get you financially secure.

Try ringing our support line and you can get advice from someone who has dealt with similar cases. I have seen a couple of similar cases on here where a man has transgressed and his spouse or partner are devastated.

I wish you all the best Tess

Tvman

Love life and family.