Had a long talk with my Consultant today, it should have been a face to face appointment but I didn't get the appointment, just an appointment for chemo tomorrow.
My Consultant doesn't think there's any benefit in trying another chemo. It doesn't cross the blood/brain barrier, and although my latest scan shows more tumours in my liver, it's the brain tumour and spinal cord cancer that are the problem. The chemo is usually fairly well tolerated, fatigue and sickness, hair loss and risk of infection are the main side effects. I've had 3 bladder/kidney infections so far this year and 4 hospital admissions with complications from chemo, so am high risk of another hospital admission.
So we've made the decision, no more cancer treatment. I feel well, in fact better than I've felt in over a year of chemo, and am sick and tired of always feeling sick and tired.
My Consultant says chemo is unlikely to give me any more time, but the risk of infection for someone in a wheelchair with a permanent catheter is very high.
We've talked about this day as a family and now that it's here I feel confident it's the right decision for us.
It'll be hard to tell our sons and my twin sister, but there's nothing to be gained from flogging a dead horse. My brother had his op on Wednesday, and has been moved to another hospital to deal with a collapsed lung so it's a difficult time for us. I'd like to be as well as possible for as long as possible so that I can see my brother when he's out of the woods.
If things change and I start to get symptoms from the cancer in my lungs, liver or spine I can change my mind. Otherwise I'll be posting in the End of Life forum and don't really know what to expect from here on. We're having a stair lift fitted on Thursday so I'll be able to have a bath and shower, one of life's luxuries.
Need to finish the Memory Walk,I'm so grateful for the donations from here, especially as so many charities are struggling at the moment. xx
Ok I’ll stay 
Hadnt realised the EOL group was so quiet, but that had to be a good thing. The support here is humbling and very much appreciated, I don’t know what I’d do without you all xx
