Hi gang
I talked to my today oncologist about the scan on Tuesday and it’s not good news.
The tumours in my lungs are growing and there’s a new growth in the liver.
They think the pain I’m in is caused by growth in the cancer around my kidney. It’s now pressing on a nerve and this (rather than the spine tumour which was last week’s theory) would also explain the numbness in the skin on my thigh.
The team has proposed radiotherapy to the kidney tumour with the aim of giving me some pain control. They (and I) think this is the top priority.
Beyond that UCLH has no useful trials to offer so my oncologist is contacting Barts, Guys and the Marsden to see if they have anything.
Sorry to bring bad news but I know you like to know.
I’ve been in appalling pain for a few days now and the hospice nurses have been great. I’m now on stronger pain killers to try to bring the pain under control. I’m hoping the next 24 hours will see some change because frankly I can’t go on like this.
It’s been frightening how quickly I’ve deteriorated. On Monday I was walking the dog. Ok I was struggling but I did it. Today I’ve been in too much pain to stand long enough to cook dinner. I guess it takes only a small amount of growth to go from not pressing on a nerve to pressing on a nerve.
It feels like I’ve crossed a rubicon here. I’m no longer treatable but not curable. Now it’s the palliative phase. It’s a lot to take in. There have been tears here, from both me and my daughter
Xxx
Dear tvman and ,
It so good to hear that you, daloni, are doing better and that you,tvman, are making raised beds. It cheers me up.
I have promised both of you photos of my flowers and garden for sometime and I am so sorry that I am late.
I will start with California where I am just restarting garden. The rose garden was George's, so I am now in charge. Peas are in the front of house (only flat spot) and are in raised beds (wanted you to see the raised beds tvman). Roses are in the back of the house. The bouquet of roses was picked on the April 23rd, George's Birthday and were given to our daughter. They are fragrant, he had a rule not to plant a rose without a scent. The other vase contains Cala lilies from the front garden. My daughter and granddaughter helped clear out the front beds and add new soil a bit over a week ago.
So the sugar snap peas were planted about a week ago and are doing extremely well. Also have planted giant sunflowers for later this year. The strawberries are just starting to produce fruit. Gardening is work, but it is fun.
Ii hope the garden photographs bring you joy.
Hugs to all,
Millie
Hi Millie
Wow! It has been worth the wait, beautiful roses, love peas and beautiful vase of Calla lilies. Calla lilies are beautiful plants that grow well in moist ground at the side of a pond. I had to do a little research just to check that on this side of the pond we know them as Arum Lilies or peace lilies. When my wife and I were working with Chernobyl Children, we paid a visit to Belarus, to a school whose children we were helping and my wife was presented with a freshly picked bunch of bright white Arum Lilies that the children were growing so those lilies, for us, will always be synonymous with that particular visit and period of our lives.
I'm raising a few giant sunflowers also but I'd guess that your Californian climate will benefit yours! Btw, what a view across the Californian valley, it's truly a beautiful sight. I've peas (Hurst Greenshaft) just popping their heads out of their cells in my greenhouse. Peas are one of my favourite vegetables and as far as taste is concerned, the taste of cooked peas picked and shelled 30 minutes earlier, can't be beaten. Uncooked, freshly picked sweet peas are just as delicious but you have to remember not to eat them all as you pick them!
Oh Millie, it's been well worth the wait 
Take care and keep safe. Oh and please don't listen to your President and please please please refrain from injecting disinfectant!!!
Tvman xx
Oh Daloni
You're so wrong on your expectation of hearing my Northern Ireland accent whilst I say Revenons à nos moutons. The degree that I studied paid great emphasis to the quality of spoken French and I'm afraid you won't hear my accent. I still, after 12 years, practice speaking in French when on my own. One of my tutors was from Shetland and you would have no chance of deducing that from her spoken French Oh, in case you're wondering, no, I don't speak to my plants in French, they wouldn't understand, it has to be in English, with a Northern Ireland accent
I have a dear close friend who goes to France once a year and she'll always bring me a couple of seed packets from a French garden centre, so for those plants, I make an exception and of course I speak to them in my best French
Take care and get that pain banished please.
Tvman xx
Hi
I had something in mind to add to my last post, but guess what? I've only gone and forgotten it!
However, I'll not waste this space but I'm afraid it's not for you, it's for Millie . You have forgotten something Millie, you need a third sunlounger, one for , one for yours truly and then when you finish bringing the drinks you may plonk yourself down beside us. I can't believe that you forgot moi! I'll have a nice cold beer please, that'll do nicely thank you
Tvman xx
