Bad news

I'm am not showing my wife any more posts anndanv. She is getting above herself and talking about desk top publishing some election material. She seems to have forgotten that I am her poor soldier who needs special treatment. She has failed to do any lady duties like hoovering, ironing and other such wifley things since the lockdown. There will be consequences.

Xxxxxx

Well Norberry Sounds like Mrs Norberry has already been living with consequences. "Go Girl" is what I say Lady duties can wait. 

Your posts always give me a lift but spare i thought for my breathlessness the laughing is a killer. 

Hi

Omg, what hell you have been through, I'm so sorry to hear that. There you were, heading home and looking forward to getting on with home life and more importantly, your big girl coming home. Just off on a tangent here, if anyone were to listen to me telling your story and they asked me your daughters' names, I think I would immediately reply, "big girl and little one of course" lol. 

Let's get back to our sheep. Know that saying? When I was studying all things French I came across it and I'm almost sure it came from a story (one of hundreds) by Guy de Maupassant. Ok, so your sister had to pull over so you could puke then you're hit by the wave of mother of all pains. Horrendous! And I feel for Little One and sister having to witness it all. Then the ambulance comes and the street is silenced. I have an image though, and I don't mean to be insincere, of you leaving in the ambulance, back doors open and there you are, waving as the queen of the cul de sac should.

I haven't been around lately because as you know I'm trying to make raised beds and each night I've been wracked with pain and after going to bed I've fallen asleep. Even though I have woken up with pain 2 or 3 times, I've picked up my phone and fallen asleep almost immediately. I think on writing this that you're still in hospital, tomorrow it's my 62nd birthday and it would be a lovely birthday present if my mate Daloni was allowed home and your sister handed you a 200g bar of solid Cadburys Dairy milk as soon as you get in the car and big girl and little one were waiting to hug you. That's nice.

Hi , I'm so sorry to hear that you are in pain again, you take care and stay safe please. 

, hi from me, you credited me with a statement a short while ago but I'm afraid to say that it was someone else and I can't remain quiet about it. 

Last but by no means least, Millie, I've missed you loads and it's wonderful to see you're back again. I know you're busy moving house and that's such an emotional event, especially since you're leaving a paradisiacal island (what a word!) and moving to the mainland to be closer to your point of care which will mean a lot for you. I look forward to conversing more with you. I'm making raised beds so I can whizz around in my wheelchair and work with less pain. Then I want to enclose the lot with a polytunnel so I can work in all weather, maybe not this year though. I am going to take a day off tomorrow on my birthday and recover. Might even have a glass of wine. 

Now to everyone, I haven't forgotten you, please be safe and take care. I'd love to wave a wand to cure everyone. I'm in awe of you, putting your own troubles aside to wish others better.

Tvman xx

Happpppy birthday to ya , happy birthdayyyy

Hi tvman

I think you’ve conjured up an accurate picture and you’ve made me laugh too. Thank you. I call my girls big one and little one really to respect their boundaries and privacy. I don’t want to ask their permission to write about them but if I name them I would have to ask. It feels a compromise I can live with even if there are gaping holes in the logic. 

I am truly sorry to hear you are in so much pain. I think you might be if the Churchill school of thought. KBO. I wish I had a magic wand for you. 

And yes. Back to our sheep. I don’t recall that Guy de Maupassant story particularly but it’s years since I read his wonderful stories. I had a period of reading fine short stories at university. Reading Saki, O Henry, Vonnegut and de Maupassant was a perfect antidote to studying biochemistry.

So really this time. No more digressing or meandering. Happy birthday for tomorrow. I hope you have a restful day with Mrs Tvman with lots of laughter and no pain.

Much love

xxx 

Hi Maz, you've put a smile on my face with your inimitable reply, you nutcase (in the nicest possible way!). Thanks

Tvman xx

Hi

I understand your thought behind naming the girls, big girl and little one are fine names for me. I hope you're still calling them that when they're in their twenties! 

Mrs Tvman and I have a comical shout at Conan sometimes when he's being his most mischievous self or really I should say when he's vandalising something or as I say he's a delinquent.

My daughter (the youngest of our 3 children and only girl) used to be a continual nuisance by being a real pain in the butt! She was the one who was always up to something and truly, we must have said to her so many hundreds of times in raised voices "NO LEANNA" ( not her real name, of course). She's now 35 and has been away from home for 17 years, and as I say, we have shouted that phrase hundreds of times each. Well, it's so ingrained in our vocabulary that when Conan the Vandal is up to his mischief like approaching a dropped biscuit at a real rate of knots, and I'm sure you can guess the rest, without thinking, either of us would yell "NO LEANNA". I don't think it's ever going to leave our systems lol.

Love you to bits Daloni

Tvman

That’s very funny, tvman. I call my big girl “ridiculous child” from time to time. When she hit 18, she asked me to write the phrase on a piece of paper and disappeared off. She came home with it tattooed on her ankle. 

Norberry I am very sorry about the slippage in house work. You might just have to put on that pinny and pick up a duster yourself. Oh wait. No. That doesn’t work on a torso with no wobbly bits out front. Silly me!

xx

I'm so glad they're getting on top of your pain,   I hope the improvement continues and you can get home soon.

Hi Daloni

3am and letting the pain dissipate. Maupassant on my mind too and I've just remembered the phrase. "Revenons à nos moutons" said the judge after a melée in the courtroom. It was a dispute between 2 farmers had come to the courtroom-I think. That phrase widely became to mean "Let's get back to what we were talking about". Wonderful how the mind works in troubled moments?

Can I add my congratulations to you on winning your badge. For you it should be a medal.

Tvman xx