Bad news

Hi 

I am pleased we are cheering you up. I am sorry you’re in hospital though. You’re right - it’s a chance to feel better and it sounds as though you’re better off in hospital than out. I hope it’s a short stay. 

My pain has been pretty good overnight. I’m in low level or no  psin while sitting in bed. I can get to the toilet and back without crying and yesterday morning I managed to shower. But I think beyond that it would be a struggle. The plan for today is to transition from the syringe driver to a patch. There will be an overlap period where I have both and then after 2 to 3 hours they will take the syringe driver out see how I get on. Top up pain relief will be available on demand and the nurses alerted to the fact that they might need to get it to me quickly. If that’s at all good overnight then there is a possibility I could go home tomorrow, Tuesday.

They can’t start this process until the doctors have done their rounds as it will require some prescribing. But actually I’m appreciating the chance to rest. Yesterday I finished the crochet blanket I’ve been working on for a friend who is about to have a grandson. I’m so pleased I managed to get it done before the baby arrived. Now I need to get it home and washed then blocked (to make it lie flat) and then she can make an essential trip to pick it up. So I’ll have to find some bits and bobs to do with the leftover wall and maybe try out some new techniques today. I think it’s always fun to learn something new.

The conversation I had late yesterday with the palliative care nurse has led me to believe that I’m going to stay under the care of the palliative care consultant here at my locks hospital from now. It looks like we’ve gone beyond what GPs can prescribe in primary care for my pain control as a routine. I’m feeling really happy about this. My main contact will continue to be with the hospice nurses, they will be the people I ring in emergency or if I need help. They will then work with the hospital team. It feels like another part of the safety net is in place now. 

My big sister has arrived with her husband to stay with my girls at home. My girls are only 16 and 19 and while they can cope on their own, I really think they need help right now so I’m very grateful. It feels like I can relax. Bring on the tea!

xx

Aw ,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're in hospital and never has a truer statement be said, Cancer's enough. I'm happy, so happy to know that we're brightening up your day. I'd love it for you to be on a sunlounger beside us, feeling the warm Californian sun kissing our outstretched bodies,a cool drink beside each one of us.

I think it's time I tried sleep again, I have a day to look forward to, as it's my 62nd birthday today. You know, when I was diagnosed in March 2015, all the evidence was pointing to me not seeing my 60th birthday. Here I am, 4 years later, still around after almost 4 years of weekly treatment behind me, I'm refusing to give in and to a certain extent enjoying life with friends and family. 

Ok, time for a little kip, the sun's up already.

Tvman xx

Sorry for butting in but the Arum lilies brought back a special memory for me. My grandfather worked at Charterhouse School as a gardener a hundred years ago now,  and when he and my Grandmother were newly wed he bought her some rhizomes home as a gift. She grew them for the rest of her life taking them with her where ever she lived and she gave them to me when I was newly wed and I carried on the tradition, as I hope my daughter will do. She died aged 96 and they are in flower now in front of my window where I can see them from my sofa.

Special flowers, there is something special about gardens, I miss mine in Spain. 

Happy birthday, tvman.

Oh Nicky

What a lovely memory and it's still going strong.

Tvman xx 

i do think that my being hospitalized was the right decision, just wasn't first choice.  But while my oxygen level's excellent, my anemia was making it impossible to move more  than a foot without having to stop and catch my breath.  Better here, but looking forward to home! I'm hoping on Tuesday, also.

How wonderful that you finished the baby blanket.  What color(s) did you use?  

Low level pain is good; no level is best.  The nurses sound very on top of things, on top of your needs.  The beauty of hospice, from what I understand, is that they want to help you feel your best, pain-free, comfortable.   They've got your back, so to speak.   And it's good that they're now part of our team, your safety net.  

I'm so glad that your big sis and brother-in-law have come to help your big and little girls (were those their names?).  That must be a relief for all of you.  Big sisters can be very helpful.  Big brothers, too. :) 

Tea is on its way . . . along with that chocolate.

xxoo

Many thanks, AP7, I'm going to have an easy day.

Tvman xx

Tvman,

Thank you. Yes, let's all get our sunloungers and enjoy the company, the lattes (and other good drinks), and the garden.  

I hope that you'll fall asleep soon.  Happy birthday!  Each birthday is one to celebrate.  To still be alive and kicking after being diagnosed is quite an achievement.  I'll celebrate with you today.  Hope you have a good nap.  Good night and good morning to you.

My Dear tvman -Happy Birthday!  

And two more sun loungers are waiting for you and .  BTW I make a mean latte! And will have beer ready.

I'm moving rest of the garden party to the garden 2020 site.
Love to you all,

millie 

Here’s the blanket. It needs a wash and a press to flatten it out. I love it! So does the mum-to-be. Granny had asked for a matinee jacket. I said no.