Depression and living alone

Hi Marj

I try not to dwell on the negative and have accepted l can only have one antibiotic as l am allergic to penicillin and all the mycins. It is weird these allergies only started in the last 3 years. 

I know how you are feeling as l tend to get a run of chest infections. I am finding l don't bounce back after them now and like you they are taking a toll on my overall wellbeing. 

I understand both your point of view and your consultants. It reminds me a couple of years ago my chronic pain consultant was rushed into his hospital with a pe. He told me one of his first thoughts was me and how he could relate to the chronic lung pain l had suffered since surgery.  We cannot wish all our consultants and oncologists have to go through a medical trauma to understand the mental and physical pains we all have to endure! It is good your gp understands how you are feeling and is supporting you.

I have felt better now the cold winds have turned warm so really hope you are feeling better too and  your chest infection is easing x x

Hi M-J I can understand you have accepted you can only have the one antibiotic. Like yourself I too can not have penicillin. I had a anaphylactic shock at 24, 3 days after I gave birth to my second child. I have asked times if they would try me again because I am Farley sure it was brought on by hormonal differences after giving birth. Obviously under controlled environment. But no they will not. I found out later on I can not have any type of drug that contains any cepholaxsporines and when I have had to touch penicillin I have to wear rubber gloves. They once told me I was also allergic to Erythromycin. I broke out in terrible rashes. I said to the hospital that it was not Erythromycin it was the flowers Gerber's I was doing a floristry thing at the time. I had always had a reaction to a certain flower or flower. Could never work out which it was until this one time the only flower that we had was gerbra and I reacted really badly towards it. I went years with doctors thinking I could not have Erythromycin as well as penicillin. About 6 years ago I asked my GP to try me on Erythromycin again I told her the story, so she gave me the steroids etc that should I have the rash I had the stuff in to counter react it. I personally was not in the least bit surprised I was absolutely fine with it. Despite what the hospital said I always had this feeling it was not the antibiotics it was the Gerbra flower. They don’t always get things right do they. 

Hi again I am doing it the way you suggested topics. Going back to yourself. I am glad that now the warmer weather as come and it makes you feel a little better. Sometimes it not just health is it. I think when the sun starts shining it gives a lot of people a lift. It actually makes me wonder how many people do suffer from the seasonal depression and do not really know it. I do hope and pray you had someone out whilst you had your chest infection to take your sats, I say that perhaps it more when you have a attack of the COPD. Whichever it is I genuinely think your oxygen intake will be low. I don’t know why but it really bothers me you have not already got oxygen. I know you said your breathing is not that bad until you have one of your attacks. Surly I would have thought being in light of end stage COPD which I know is very hard to predict that they would have given you a oxygen concentrator for when you do have one of your attacked. I know it’s not really my business but I genuinely do not want anything to happen because of the hospital not doing what they should. Recently I had got pneumonia again and one night, I was trying to go to the toilet with being so ill I fell on the floor, I was gasping for breath and I was on the floor for over 2 hours I could not reach my phone and I couldn’t reach the oxygen. The pain and fear of not being able to get my breath was horrendous I also felt as if I was drowning from the inside. This happened at 1.10am I have never experienced anything like this before and I would not wish that on my worst enemy. In the past when something like that happened I passed out, which is what I have always said to end of life team at that point of passing out is the time they really sedated me. I don’t want to experience that feeling ever ever again. I worry for you having to go through a similar thing. Some people do not want sedating, I am not that brave, after having experienced that no no no. I don’t want to die like that so personally they can put as much sedation in me that’s possible. It’s a big fear of mine dying feeling like I can not get enough oxygen and it’s painful. M-J please when things are really bad do get your sats checked. I could not bare it for anyone to go that way. Time went so slowly too. Eventually when I could move I got to the oxygen first and believe you me what a relief it was. Even with the oxygen it took awhile for me to get my breath properly. I am just concerned for you and anyone else who have not got what at times maybe needed. Again I know it’s not my business it’s just having had that particular experience and not having passed out I genuinely do not want you suffering. Also the oxygen when you have a chest infection it really really helps. Now with that I will send you all my love before I end up deleting everything and I hope to hear from you soon. All my love please take care Marj xxxx

Ps I would love your help with my blog. I have tried everything to get tools to post on it to no avail. Many thanks Marj xxxx

Hi Marj

Thanks for your kind concern. Because we have both had lung cancer and copd does not mean our symptoms are the same and therefore we have different treatments. I have had lung cancer in both lungs and the surgery and radiotherapy has reduced my lung capacity and set off emphysema. My copd is emphysema and when l have an emphysema episode l am trying to clear fluid and it is not oxygen related so please stop concerning yourself where l am not on oxygen. I feel confident  in my hospice specialist nurse and she will intervene with oxygen if it is ever needed.

I was sorry to read of your experience and understand you worry for me as unlike you l live alone. If one thing this long journey has taught me it is not to dwell on or waste limited energy on the ' what ifs'. Most of the time this works.

Re help with your blog l am sorry l have no experience so have asked the community admin to help you.

Yes sunny days do lift our spirits and will hopefully return soon as this weekend has been very cold and wet. 

Take good care Marj x x 

Hi everyone,

I hope you don't mind me popping on here, my name is Jess and I work for the Online Community Team.

We have now locked this thread as the conversation has digressed from the original topic. We kindly ask members to try to stay on topic where possible, as other members may find comfort in the conversation and helpful information could be missed.

I am sorry to see you are struggling with creating a blog. Myself and the Community would be more than happy to talk you through steps to get you started. Please contact us through our email on community@macmillan.org.uk and we will assist you further.

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Jess

Online Community Team