I am in remission, 7 months after my last chemo (ovarian cancer). But my life has not got back to normal at all. I have terrible fatigue and feel pathetic. A walk uphill makes my legs ache and feel so heavy and after any exertion I can't stop yawning and just feel exhausted. My husband's life is being held back because of my fatigue. I keep having to rest. Why am I so tired and how long will this last? I just want to feel normal again.
The second thing is that I have a feeling of doom. I am so lucky with a lovely family and life but have this feeling of doom that something will happen to ruin it. It happened before, so it will happen again - not to me, I'm not frightened of the cancer coming back, but will it be one of my children, or the country going to war or anything like the King dying or my house collapsing.
What should I be doing to get over this?
Hi Spooks and welcome to this corner of the community. First well done navigating your post treatment journey so far.
Regardless the type of cancer journey we have been in there are inevitably post treatment ‘left overs’…… be it physical or physiological that we have to deal with.
For context, it will be 25 years this Saturday when I was diagnosed at 43 with a rare (8 in a million) incurable but treatable type Low-grade non-Hodgkin lymphoma……. eventually reaching Stage 4a in late 2013 when a second, also rare (4 in a million) type of aggressive High-grade non-Hodgkin lymphoma) was then presenting so I most definitely appreciate the challenges of this journey rather well (See my story)
Unfortunately Fatigue is a significant byproduct of going through cancer treatments…. Some people can thankfully recover quickly and get back so some type of normality…….. other like yourself and indeed me are not so fortunate…… I am 9 years 7 months out from my last treatment and still experience fatigue at times especially if I am doing things like the guarded….. but it’s my new normal so I have learned to pace myself and if I have to leave stuff for another day that’s fine.
As for doom…. I am way past that one… I relapsed multiply times over my first 16 years with the longest period of remission being about 9 months… but eventually on 19th September 2016 more than 17 years after my first diagnosis I hear the words Remission and NED (No Evident Disease) together for the very first time.
From my point of view it was all about taking control of the space between the ears…… this was not just me but all the family as we have seen part of this journey fir ever since line……. so we don’t we allow our journey and experiences to define us….. ‘we’ as a family define our lives and how we live them……. and as my first type of cancer is deemed as incurable but asleep at the moment I don’t go round kissing princesses 
I am a very practical person so I like tools…… so you may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper…..
After Treatment Finishes - Then What?
…… by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.
Do come back with any questions s and do tell what you think about the paper ((hugs))
