Feeing sorry for myself I think?

Hi Rich123 and warm welcome to this little corner of the community and first, well done navigating your treatment and getting this positive outcome……. although, like many people, you have been left with the post treatment physical and mental ‘left overs’ 

I have been on my incurable blood cancer journey for over 25 years now and I can definitely recognise all the challenges you have detailed. 

For me it has been a journey of acceptance, unpacking stuff, rebuilding and eventually getting into a position where as a family (not just me) WE define our lives and how we move forward……. as we do not let my cancer journey define us in any way.

My story is rather complicated See my story as I had to go on to have years of significant treatments mainly due to me developing a second more aggressive type of cancer in late 2013……….. but I am coming up to 9 years out from my last treatment and turn 69 in Nov and I am am living a great life.

One tool I found helpful and I think you may as well is this great paper……

    After Treatment Finishes - Then What?

by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.

Have a read of the paper then come back to me with your main ‘take aways’ from the paper and we can unpack the way forward further.

re

Hi Rich

Congratulations on finishing treatment. It is a hard and grueling journey and you don't just feel better overnight. It can take ages to build up your strength again and get over the fatigue and learn to accept some of the side effects of your treatment. It is now 11 years since my first treatment for jaw cancer and then I had another 2 ops in 2019 and 2022. Time does make a difference as you feel like you are never going to feel the same again and that is true. Things are different. Mentally it takes a while to get your head around things and I did feel a bit down for a while. I found being on the Head and Neck forum really helped as people really understood where I was coming from and I did not feel so alone although like you I have a supportive and loving family. They just see you as being cured and don't understand the mental and physical challenges that can occur.

I had to work around the radiation fatigue for a while but it did eventually recede.That was the hardest time.  During that time I made myself small goals to work towards each day such as a short walk. Once it had receded enough I found that being involved in outside activities really helped as it took my mind out of the cancer mindset and onto other things. I became a volunteer at my local library and that was a game changer for me as I felt less useless and that I was still able to contribute.  I also had a think about what I could do to try and improve my fitness level and joined an over 50's exercise group. That way I felt I was taking charge of my life again.

Now I feel the best I have ever felt both mentally and physically and am really enjoying my life. You will get there too. Take it a day at a time and things do get better.

Do read the article Mike has recommended by Dr. Peter Harvey as I found it really helpful.

Lyn

Thank you so much for your very helpful and encouraging advice. I have read that paper now and it was fantastic. Thank you again. Rich. 

Hi Mike. Thanks so much for your help and advice. I have now read the paper you recommended and it really has answered some of what I felt, silly questions to realise they are quite  regular questions! Thank you again so much and hope you are doing great. Rich. 

Hi Rich…. I am doing great and as I said as of Monday I will be 9 years out from my last treatment.

When I post the paper, I would always challenge folks to become proactive after reading through it and using it as a vehicle for change and life improvement.

So get a note book or some sheets of paper and put pen to paper - it is a good way forward.

So a page per subject heading. Start detailing the things you have done already to move life on in each area and then start to set some achievable goals to work towards. 

When you achieve the first goal on each lists, tick it off and then put a new goal at the bottom of the list. By doing this you can actually see your progress and celebrate achievements. When I say celebrate I do mean giving yourself treats and gifts........ you have life - celebrate it.