Hi all I am new to group, I joined as I am pretty down at the moment. I had lung cancer that I had removed along with my bottom lobe, no chemo needed as luckily it had not spread. I work in payroll as a stand alone, so worry when I am not there to do it, to ensure people get paid correctly. I work for a large company so this should not be a worry but it is as there is no suitable cover. So I had my op, was out of hosp for 4 days then rushed back in as the drain site was leaking and I could not breathe properly, after another week of hosp I was sent home, I felt better, but not hundred percent. But stupidly, although WFH, I ‘went back to work’ this was in the understanding that my stand in was still take it the brunt of the work.They have since left and I have been left to pick up all the work on a full time basis, when I was meant to be on a phased RTW until at least 1st Dec, this has taken its toll on me, and I have now gone backwards in my recovery. I still have pains in my chest after 2 months from drain site especially, I still have limited breathing when walking, I am also having emotional issues, bursting into tears.Is this normal? I don’t feel like I have had much after care support. I don’t know I just feel like you have to chase to find answers, does anyone else feel the same?
Well after much deliberation with myself and my own conscious I had to go back to work. I could not see people not get paid all the hard work they had done over the last months, not get their pay and have a lovely Christmas. If I never went back, yes they would still have been paid, but just paid their salary. Some of these technicians on the field though, had worked long hours in the freezing wet weather to earn more pay to give their families a better Christmas and I could not destroy that. I know a lot of people would say ‘ well that is the companies fault for allowing it to happen and not realising I was the ‘SPOF’ but that would not help these technicians. So I decided to return to work WFH. I now have a helper, that I was also training up last week, I am absolutely shattered, as we done it, we got it over the Deadline, I worked long hrs all week to get this done, which is why I have not been on this forum. Has it helped my pain NO, has it helped my emotions, NO, well slightly. I did not have time to reflect on myself. Do I regret it NO. I would be so annoyed with myself right now, if I had not.
I will be having a chat to my boss though as I do need time to reflect and go to classes, rehab etc.
But I will add that sometimes work is a form of therapy, it does distract your mind, but could I do last week every week, NOT A CHANCE!!