I don’t know if I’m physically or emotionally able to go back to work.

Hi Jenliveh.

I could have written this exact post about myself! I'm almost 56 and don't think I can go back to work! I'm recieving some benefits and on sickpay (which ends soon) then I'll have to make up my mind! My job is also hard physically so I'm definitely not fit enough and not sure I will be again! My boss has offered me a role with lighter duties but involves a lot of driving which sounds like hell bcoz like yourself I was very energetic and outgoing and now I'm an anxious mess just going out my own front door! I live alone (although I have family close by) I still feel lonely but don't want to "people" most days. Have you had any help or advice concerning your work issue? I'd be very interested to read any information on this problem too.

Thanks for listening.

Angela xx

Hi Angela, life can be tough. I’m very emotional this week,I don’t know what’s causing it, but I cry at the drop of a hat, what about you? It’s sunny and warm so I should be happy, but I’m sad because I can’t do the things I want to do in the sunshine, I’m like you I’m lonely but I can’t be bothered with people. I had good news last week, at my routine diabetic eye screening in May, they thought I had a tumour in my eye, went to a specialist eye hospital in Glasgow, turns out it’s a freckle,nothing to worry about, who knew that was a thing, dodged another bullet? I’m in  the same position regarding sick pay, it runs out in July, but I’m signed off till September, because I may have benign tumours growing on the part of my brain that regulates balance, I contacted them for advice and they said my employer would feed information to them so I don’t have to do anything. That’s all the information I’ve had, but they did send a form asking for health details. There isn’t a less physical job for me, I work in a care home, I’ve been there 31 years next month, I really miss the residents and the work, but need a walker and have no stamina. What’s your job? Where are you based, I’m on the north east of Scotland. Thanks for contacting me, it’s nice to have someone to chat to. X

Hi Jenliveh.

Thanks for the reply ️. Gosh you realy are getting it tough! I also work in the care sector, I'm out in the community doing much the same job as yourself, it's heavy and involves a lot of driving so I don't feel I can go back. My Ssp also runs out in July but my GP will continue to supply sick notes for benefits etc. As you know in our work we have to be strong both physically and mentally and I'm neither atm. I realy hope you get good news on the benign tumor front ..it's good to chat! At least writing it down seems to help but even that makes me cry when someone says something kind to me lol. I'm in northern Ireland, Belfast.

Angela xx 

Hi Angela, it was so nice to get your message this morning, it cheered me up. You totally get how I feel about my job,I’m sure. I got a text from a colleague on Tuesday saying she’d seen me out with my sister, when she was out with a couple of residents, but they were in a taxi going home, so missed me, apparently the residents were delighted and told everyone when they got back. That started the tears again. Today has been ok, I used my walker and went to the corner shop on my own for the first time since December, I had no confidence and was scared I’d never go out on my own again, but I did it. Before the pandemic I used to travel to Vancouver by myself to visit family, and now a 5 minute walk by myself is a big deal, but I did it, small victories. I hope you’re having some good times too. Nice chatting. X

Hi Jenliveh,

Aww I'm glad you got to see some of your residents( no matter how fleeting) and colleagues ️ .1 of my wee ladies rings me and several of the service users ask constantly about me. It's nice to know we were appreciated! I went out a walk with a friend today and she gets me completely so I can be myself around her but today was a good day! No tears YET!! lol. I can use the local Tesco's but only if I can drive myself there! I couldnt use public transport!! The horror lol..I babysit 1 of the grandsons every Friday so that breaks up the days for me and he's a good wee thing bless him so iv that tomorrow. Have a great evening

Angela xx

Glad you’re having a good day and you’ve got things to look forward to. I know what you mean about public transport, that’s a step too far just now. I don’t drive, but I’m lucky to have good friends. I’m ok in taxis too. During the radiotherapy I was very fortunate, the hospital provided patient transport. The NHS is amazing, I’m so grateful.How old are your grandsons? Nice to hear from you. X

Had a great day yesterday! The sun was shining so that always helps..overcast today and rain is forecast, How's the weather today for you? I think when it's nice we can feel more positive! I've 3 grandsons and 5 grand-daughters lol..age range from 17yo to 18 months! The 1 I have today is almost 3 and he's a handful but so sweet and cute lol. Have a great day.

Angela xx 

That’s brilliant, got to make the most of the good times. It’s been hot all week and today is the same. I’ve got. A friend visiting tonight so I’ve been trying to spruce the place up a bit, it’s exusting but I’m getting there, it’s taken me 15 minutes to hoover the living room . What a lovely time you must have with your grandchildren. Hope today is as good as yesterday for you. X

Oh I feel your pain regarding the house work lol...I'm having a great day so far. I hope you have a lovely visit with your friend. Have lots of goodies and mayb a glass or 2 of something cold lol have fun xx

Thank you