51, Diagnosed in June 21. Currently Recovering from APR operation. I had stage 4 Squamous Cell Carcinoma in my bowels. I should be elated to now be free of cancer but I’m a wreck. Constantly crying. When will I feel happy. Why am I so down. I’m on 6.5 week of recovering from an extremely painful operation called APR. The operation has left me feeling ugly and disfigured. I’ve piled 4.5 stone on in 2 years yet I eat healthily and only small amounts. I don’t sleep or should I say I can’t sleep. Does anyone else feel like this. What services are available for me please? Any cancer survivor groups or meetings near me in Chorley Lancs??
Hi and welcome across to this little corner of the Community, I am Mike and I help out around this and other groups. I am sitting here way up in the Highlands of Scotland nodding my head as I read through your post.
The post treatment journey can be, for some as hard as the treatment journey if not harder....... the post treatment 'leftovers' can be rather significant and in the early days very hard to navigate though.
I have been on my cancer journey for over 22 years now and although my type of blood cancer is incurable I have been in remission for over 5 years now.......... with my last treatment, a very challenging Stem Cell Transplant (see my profile) back in Oct 2015.
So yes I had many years of recovery but as each recovery is different my challenges are/were rather different from yours...... but challenges they were.
How do you move forward?...... for me the first step was my mindset........ I don't see myself as a survivor, I see myself as an overcomer..... overcoming a rather desperate throw the dice situation back in 2014 and hope I get a double six. So I overcome the statistics and the prognosis so my aim is to live the life that was hard fought for. So my first 'win' in the post treatment journey was controlling the space between my ears....... and this most certainly helps my sleep.
Talking with others who have walk the road can help, obviously you are here so this is a start. Face to Face meetings during these strange times are not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up.
Do also check out for a Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing and helped me a lot.
When I say area, in the Highlands it's nothing for someone to do a 4 hours round trip drive to get the support at our local Maggie's that how important it is to them. Their one on one support is amazing.
I often say in this group that we are all given an invisible rucksack at the point of diagnosis and unknowingly we load all the 'stuff' that happens over our journey into the sack and carry it around 24/7...... stuff like fear, stress, anxiety, hurt, pain, the fear of the unknown..... It is very important to get this unpacked and have a tidy up of sum of the stuff and the best way is through taking with someone.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides practical information like where to get support, emotional support or just a listening ear.
As a simple self help step you may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.
Always around to chat ((hugs))
Do also check out our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.
Do call the Macmillan support line 0808 808 00 00 as they can check the database for any other support in your local area.
Maggie's have some online support groups so worth a phone call to check.
What do you think about the paper i sent?
Thank you, l'm just having a wobble even though its been a while since the end of treatment, lve just read "After treatment finishes" by Dr Peter Harvey and it's helped a lot.
