Big night for me tonight, first night out with my girlfriends after getting the all clear following mastectomy and getting used to tamoxifen and the joys that brings. Couldn’t cope and was crying in the taxi on the way home at 9pm, perhaps I shouldn’t expect so much or think I’m going to feel normal then I wouldn’t be so disappointed...
Hi welcome to this little corner of the Community.
Your reaction last night is not that unusual, in fact rather normal in the early stages. Remember that you have walked a path that a lot of people just don’t understand. You have in some way have had to deal with your mortality in being told you have cancer but you are alive and like me it takes time to get to grips with this.
You are on the recover and healing part of your cancer journey and for a lot of folks this indeed can turn out to be the most challenging part of this rollercoaster journey.
Your treatment (life) was all mapped out for you, you had targets and goals to work with and a basic end goal..... but the post treatment part is not very well detailed, some folks get to ring a bell and that is about it, but you are not given the instruction book for this part on how you get though this part.
On your post treatment journey you will pass milestones where you will have tears, laughs more tears, confusion, lots of questions. You will say I want my old self back but you can not find it...... sounding familiar?
First step - make a cup of tea and coffee and have a look though this great paper and come back and give us your initial reactions.
The post treatment recovery is a process and we can help in some way to walk it through with you.
((hugs)) from a distance.
Hi again I think the paper is great and does ask some good questions that can challenge our perceptions as to where we are and what we need to do to move life on.
I am 4 years 4 months and 23 days post my last official treatment... not that I keep a record, but I find it important to look back and see the miles stones in my post treatment journey. You will see from my profile life has not been smooth so reflection makes me remember where I have come from and the progress I have made.
I am not cured just in remission and the calendar on my condition has just been pushed back but I refuse to let cancer define me.
I did a reply in this group a few months back and the admin team turned in to Community Blog - follow this LINK and have a look.....saves me typing it all out again ;)
So yes you are still on the journey but have you moved on from where this all started?....... I would say yes.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, I hear that the HOPE course is great. We don’t have this course up North but I went to the “Where now?” course at my local Maggie’s Centre and this helped me unpack all the stuff I had collected and kept in my invisible rucksack of stuff.
((hugs)) from a distance.
