Recurrence anxiety

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Hi everyone 

I feel very lucky to have been diagnosed early with stage 1A womb cancer...has it treated surgically (hysterectomy) in July and no more treatment is necessary. However I have recently had anxiety about it coming back (sorry TMI alert!) I had literally a tiny pink spot on my loo roll this morning and I went straight into panic mode. My final appointment was only a few weeks ago and the advice was to ring if worried etc...so I will ring tomorrow. It’s probably just part of healing etc but I have convinced myself that I have cancer again. I was going to go Christmas tree shopping today and decorate with my husband but instead I just cried. He managed to get me out for the afternoon but I am in panic mode. I think it’s sensible to ring my team but I don’t want to be a ‘patient’ again...I just want to move on. Sorry for the rant! Thanks for listening xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi-I totally understand your feelings. I have had exactly the same condition and treatment as you and very grateful not to have  had to have had further treatment. Now I have started to physically recover the anxiety of recurrance has gone through the roof-I worry about everything-its exhausting! I just ate some food that had caught  and burnt while cooking and convinced myself its carcinogenic! I was told its not unusual to experience this worry and as you say the default seems to be to go into panic mode! I'm sure what you have is just part of the healing-I've felt loads of strange things that set off a worry chain-but that is what they are worry! I agree ring your team who can reassure you-talking to someone who has loads of experience of this in all kinds of contexts is helpful and I tend to take the reassurance from them rather than other people. I hope your trip out has managed to calm you a little and you get a good nights sleep!

    Thinking of you

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thank you so much ...your words have really helped! I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here but I am so grateful x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hello e29

    its good to hear someone else worries all the time like me.  Do suffer from panic attacks. I worry about everything. I worry about social services. I worry about them taking my last of my freedom through a DOL. a disprivation of Liberty order. I live on my own. So I do not have the comfort and protection of a family. I worry about accidentally eating food that’s tastes off.  I don’t mind burnt food. In fact that’s the way I liked my pizzzas. I worry that people think I’m unstable because of my panic attacks.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    yes I do worry all the time-think its generalised worry rather than panic attacks-are you getting any help with the panic attacks it may be useful to talk it through with someone?

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    For me I am sure it’s a form of PTSD... I never really suffered with anxiety but I feel it’s part of me now...like I am convinced I will get bad news again. So many triggers that I didn’t have before.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    yes I'm with you-feel exactly the same-we should take some reassurance that we both feel this way-this is surely telling us something! I'm told it will get more manageable but it doesn't feel that way at the moment does it-that sense that people seem to think you should be getting back to normal but there seems to be no normal anymore!? My Macmillan nurse did say they may be able to advise on further support if its too bad so that may be worth talking through with your team tomorrow?

    Good luck-let me know how you get on.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi x thanks so much for your support. Rang my cns she was amazing. She’s not concerned at all and said it’s not unexpected at this stage but to ring if I am ever worried. She thinks I have been overdoing things and possibly went back to my full on job too soon. She advised me to take 2 days off work and to be kind to myself and enjoy Christmas. Phew!!

  • Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

    You may all have seen this great paper as it does highlight the rocky road following treatment.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh I'm so pleased -thanks for letting me know-and yes surprised you are already back at work -I'm not! Think I'm starting to learn that we have to ring fence the action of worry from the object of worry as a first step in stopping the cycle! Easier said than done-and yes take some time out!

    v best x

  • Hi,

     I am fed up and worried all most of the time. I feel in a constant state of high anxiety. I also have Bruxism from clenching my teeth in sleep due to this and now I have to have a back tooth taken out next month and I am on a course of antibiotics because my teeth have broken down and my gum is infected. 

    Eveything seems so black and I can’t muster up any festive feelings. Was okay until I was admitted into hospital in September for a small bowel obstruction and since then, I have been constantly on edge and worrying. I don’t seem to be able to get out of it. I spoke to my GP before it got this bad and he referred me for in-house counselling which has a 6 month waiting list.

    I feel sick when I put on the television or read a magazine or newspaper and is another story of someone either going through or have been through cancer or another illness. I can’t cope with everything I have been through and I don’t want to hear anyone else, celebrities or otherwise stories. To me there isn’t any thought for the people who are either going through anything or have been through anything. And please don’t tell it “raises awareness”, it doesn’t it just frightens people. Someone on social media told me that I have problems and I am negative. Well go through what I have (and others have been through and see how great you feel.

    Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else feels like this? 

    Lisa

    xxxxxxxxxx