Really really struggling today - HELP

Like  LittleRunner says, I agree re contacting the PALS office

Also, dou u have a cancer nurse specialist at the hospital or one attached to a local hospice?

Dear Ann louise,

I have felt the same way- in my case I had a cycle of Bendamustine and Rituxan (BR) and felt that it almost killed me. I said no more BR- to which my Dr. said you have had chemo and therefore you have chemo-brain and are not capable of making the decision. That caused me much anger.  I fired him. Found another  better oncologist. But I had to fight hard to fire the first and find the second- all at a time I could not get out of bed due to my reaction to the treatment and my husband was dying. Hard to fight when you are flat on the ground.  Try and find out  more about your cancer and understand more about possible treatments then you will know if you can trust the care you are getting. I have also had to chase my appointments its not fun but it is now my job.

I am doing much better now, but still fight daily to get proper treatment, tests and appointments. Just the way it seems to be and I'm in the USA-  guess its not pretty anywhere. We all must be our own advocate and also remember that our medical teams are stressed and face financial limits and are doing their best.  It would help us to help you if you put down your background and details of your cancer under your profile. Then others with your diagnosis can tell you of their experiences.

We hear what you are saying and will help as we can.

Hugs

Millie

Hi folks, I guess I'm unusual that I'm still living with cancer, 14 years post diagnosis/surgery. I had kidney cancer n have since had umpteen secondaries - incl  a brain tumour -  and  scans over the years. Every time I have  scans(CT n MRI every 3 to 4 months) I anxiously await the results.

It never really stops but in between I can sometimes forget for a few days. The hospice consultant said cancer is now considered a chronic disease ( due no doubt to improvements in drugs available)

I may sound really fortunate but know this, the sword of Damocles is always there so we all need to support each other You are certainly not alone Ann Louise, hang on in there!

Dear Morleywife

I have had similar experience with different diagnose and suffered 3 months worry caused illness, which proved nothing related to my tumour, but at the time I was so worried as there was a tumour in my brain, palpitation in my heart, blood pressure super high and thyroid gone out of control, elbow broken and chest pain, all of sudden the whole body just did not right, every part of me has problem. 

All of which, was just because I over worried tumour, I know how you feel even I want to say to you do not worry, but how can we not? but I still hope that you can do opposite, thinking about it, each problem we have, there is a treatment or solution for it, when we are calmer, the body process slower, when we are in worry and fear, our body process faster which means disease grow faster too, if there is something can divert your attention, keep your attention onto something else, or try a online hypnotherapy, which I found Trigram on youtube is very good, it relax our body and also sending positivity to our mind help fight situation. 

Being ill is indeed a dreadful experience, but we can try to separate our physical body from our mental experience, some yoga, meditation or simple breathing exercise can help, at least when our body is ill we can keep a healthy mind, it is not easy but if keep trying it will have a transformational results in bring peace within.

I am a cancer survivor and I still need to battle for what may come in future, meanwhile I suffer other illness too, but now I determine to focus on my mental strength, develop my thorough understanding of the relationship between body and mind, keep good control of my mind and live life as good as I can, but more for me is to develop meditation skills and that helps me go through another turmoil.

I hope your results come back soon and nothing serious, and wish you find yourself back again, is ok to feel anything, write how you feel is a good way to help the feelings out too, and I total understand that. 

At the worst moment of my worry, I shout at myself loud: enough, I am angry about it, now no more worry, let's fight back, I am not let illness control me, I will control illness. This is what I did, I got strength from angry feeling, sounds mad, it somehow helped me at the time. hope you can  find your way do whatever helps you to feel better.

All the best for you and send my love to you 

Newjourney

Hi, I so agree with much of what New Journey says. 

I'm fortunate I have many ppl praying for me n also sending me reiki n positive thoughts. Not that I believe in a god, but there's something  'other' we can tune into, via meditation or  whatever- even via getting angry!

Like many  of us, I overthink n  find it was " a good worry wasted" in the end and such a waste of energy, when I have so little anyway.

Be kind to yourself Morley wife.