Two Years Today

Hi Sarah,I’m full of admiration for what you have been through.Your posts are always so helpful and inspiring.Best wishes for the future with Boris and Donald.Love Jane xx

Hi Jane

Thank you so much for your kind words. Some mixed emotions today-I have ptsd now after everything I’ve been through and it’s difficult sometimes, but very grateful to be here and hopefully able to help others, 

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah,I’m so sorry you have ptsd.Do you have help for it ? Undergoing life saving surgery is a challenge,emotionally and physically.Like you I’m so grateful to be here after such a grim prognosis.Your posts definitely help others.Love Jane xx

Hi Jane

Yes, thank you-I was lucky enough to have some counselling through Macmillan which was very helpful. I don’t think I had any concept beforehand of the psychological effects of my surgery-I was so focused on getting rid of my cancer. The mental effects caught up with me much later when I was feeling physically better. I do try my very best, however, to focus on the positives, particular when I post anywhere in the community. 

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah,I’m glad you found the counselling helpful.I found the recovery process hard.I had the surgery pre Covid but recovery was during the first lockdown and I was on my own.The good people on the bladder board here were helpful and sent encouraging posts.Love Jane xx

Hi Sarah 

You are an inspiration to many here.

What you have been through is unbelievable and PTSD is the outcome of that.

My daughter is a therapist and she’s studied for years in helping PTSD. There are many different types of therapy and if the CBT helps for now but the symptoms kick in later please ask for more help it’s out there  What you have been through takes time and help to process.  
Boris and Donald ( still love your name choice it’s brill) are life savers yes and we do have to be thankful for our stoma’s  but sometimes you are allowed stop and feel the opposite! 
Be kind to yourself 
I’m sending you a hug x

Hi Jane

I agree about how hard recovery is, and can’t imagine how much more difficult being on your own-at least I had help. I came home from hospital on the day the first lockdown was announced and it was really hard not being able to see my family or have any visitors. 

Sarah xx

Morning Ann

Thank you for the hug! I didn’t come back online last night as I felt a bit reflective and tearful yesterday. Crazy really when I was so lucky to have surgery but it just rocks your world and changes everything for ever. 

I never thought I would end up with ptsd from this, but in the space of 18 months from diagnosis I went through a huge amount of “stuff” so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

I found talking with the counsellor so helpful. I think because finally I was able to speak about things. I hadn’t told people I had cancer, except family and very close friends, until my chemo and radiation treatment was finished and I wasn’t in support groups so it was a very lonely and scary time. I have told very few people about the surgery I had when my cancer came back, so there was a lot in my head to be sorted! Even my in laws have no idea what I had done, and don’t even know I have 2 stomas, never mind anything else. They never asked what I was going into hospital for, so I just didn’t say. Strange people, and they’ve never asked anything in the last 2 years either. I found that quite hurtful.

I am a huge advocate of having help through counselling, and recommend it to anyone struggling as it made such a diffference to me. I wouldn’t hesitate to have more if I felt I needed it. 

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah,Recovering during lockdown was tough.My partner John lives nearby but I couldn’t see him as he had to shield.He has a rare muscle disease called Central Core as well as ulcerative colitis.I had been caring full time for my disabled mother.Just before being diagnosed I had to send her for respite care as I was too Ill to manage.The only person I saw in lockdown was my sister Sarah but that was on the doorstep when she dropped off groceries.I had no support from the gp or the specialist nurse.I wish now that I had put in a complaint regarding the health centre.8 months after surgery my sister and I were called in to the community hospital where mum had ended up.I was told mum would have to come home as the respite funding had ended and she didn’t fulfil the criteria for more money.I was provided with 2 carers and mum came home.It was really tough I found bending over constantly difficult.After a few months mum developed a serious heart problem and went into hospital.From there I fought for nursing funding and mum went into  nursing home.She died 7 weeks ago today,I miss her so much.Going through surgery has made me appreciate life so much more.I can understand how you would have mixed emotions after all you have undergone.It’s brilliant that you are able to inspire and support others.Love Jane xx

Hi Jane

I am so sorry to read all that you’ve had to go through, and having to fight for help when you would have been so weak yourself. And I’m very sorry to read you lost your mum so recently. Yesterday I was feeling like a little girl again, just needing my mum, but I lost her almost 6 years ago now. I just wanted a hug from her. It’s a very hard thing to go through, losing your mum, and no matter what age you are it’s a devastating loss to bear. 

You have endured a great deal, but you still come here to support others. I hope it helps you too having the support come back to you from the lovely people in the community here. You take care, and I’m sending you a big virtual hug through this message. 

Sarah xx