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Rachy

My dad is the same and I worry that he is in denial and I don't really know how to deal with that!!!!

Nadia- It's hard to deal with I know. If I could get my sister on her own (away from her son) I'd pin her to the sofa & say tell me what's going through your mind as mine is a mess worrying about you; tell me what I can do / what I'm doing wrong. I can't get much out of her at all. To be honest it is perhaps easier to deal with this by 'going with the flow' and what will be will be for some. I suppose all your dad, my sister etc can really do is take the treatments and look after themselves in such a way as they can feel 'better' & cope & attain a positive attitude to get them through this. I'm relying on a friend of hers to hopefully tell me anything I should know, but deep down gutted he is told these things & I aren't. The only time we probaly talk is at chemo. sessions and when we are in the A & E awaiting blood results for Neutropenia, but when we are back home it's back to square one again. Don't feel like you are burdening your dad with your worries - just tell him you are there for him, but you need to know / share his worries for peace of mind.

Hi Everyone

I am new - just this minute joined. Cancer has touched my family in the past - my mum had breast cancer about 15-16 years ago and thankfully has been clear ever since. Unfortunately we all thought that that was the last time cancer would affect the family but sadly that is not the case. My younger brother (44) was told about a month ago that he had pancreatic and liver cancer. Due to administrative errors he only started his treatment on the 14th of August but he gets the impression from the doctors that they don't hold out much hope for him.

I have been doing a lot of reading on pancreatic and liver cancer over the last four weeks and virtually none of it has been positive. My brother has asked me to see if I can research up on any revolutionary treatment that is being trialled so that he has more of a chance but despite having access to the internet the information is limited as he has been told that his cancer is inoperable.

I lost my Dad just over a year ago to heart disease and now I am facing losing my brother. I am over the angry stage and am now into the denial stage but I feel that that is more of a way of self protection and my only way to get through each day.

My poor mum is having a lot of trouble dealing with the news but we are hoping against hope that he is going to be the one person who can beat this.

I don't know why I am on here really but if anyone reads of anything on pancreatic/liver cancer which may provide further hope and treatment for my brother then please let me know.

Thank you for spending the time to read this.

Julie

hi Julie jones

I joined yesterday although cancer came into our lives a year ago next week. If you are looking for a revolutionary treatment have you researched cyberknife treatment? It is only offered i one place in the uk and that is a private place in harley street. I am not sure whether it can help your brother but there is no harm in having a look. Also, how about the clinical trials? The royal marsden hospital does lot and cancer research has a list of all open trials and also enter clincal trials on google and you should get a site but I forgot the name of it. Whe my dad was diagnosed last year we referred ourselves to the royal marsden as our local hospital did not give my dad the attention a person needs when a cancer diagnosis is made. On the other hand the Marsden have been great. Hope this helps.

Hi Jewel

thanks for the reply yeah it probably is better going with the flow, this disease is so unpredictable you cant control it!!!!!!!!!

Hi Jewel

thanks for the reply yeah it probably is better going with the flow, this disease is so unpredictable you cant control it!!!!!!!!!

Dads girl - Thank you for your response. It helps to know that your not alone, although when you are going through it it feels a bit like it!!!

Hello, I'm a newbie. My dad was diagnosed with lung and liver cancer on Wednesday. He is 86. This has been such a shock, he has been fit and well all his life until now, and very independant, holidaying on his own and with a very active social life. I can never remember him being ill apart from a couple of doses of flu! He went to the doctors a few weeks ago because he was having pain in his leg and hip area....... We never expected this. I feel useless and frightened. Being older than my sister I feel I have to be the strong one, and dad seems to be taking it all very calmly. He's said he doesn't want everyone knowing he's ill, which means I have to be very careful what I say to the children, grandchildren and friends, but I also feel guilty that I'm not giving them the full picture. And yes, I know he's already 86, as a collegue of mine pointed out when I had to explain why I needed time off work to take him for his biopsi, but he's my dad, and it seems so unfair that he has to suffer this in the latter years of his life.

hi echo
Sorry to hear about your dad .It doesnt matter what age he is as you say he is still your dad.
My Mum was 92 yrs and it was still a shock. It will be hard for you to keep it from people for
everybody wants to know .I wish you all the best and keep coming on to the site as the
people are wonderful and will help you through things. If you want more imfo tag on to lung
cancer at the left and you will get more help. Take love june.

Thankyou June.

I'm finding this so difficult, I have been reading some of the other members posts and profiles.......... all these brave people sharing their experiences, it's amazing! It's early days for us yet, and I'm really struggling, trying to be optomistic, yet realistic, I feel adrift in a sea of not knowing. I don't know who to ask or where to go for the answers to all the questions I have. And some questions I'm not sure I really want to know the answers to. Is it worse not knowing or knowing? I wake up in the morning and my first thought is "Dad's got cancer" it's on my mind all day, right through till I go to bed. I'm sure this is usual, along with the sudden urges to cry which seem to sneak up on me with no warning. Not good when I'm at work! I keep telling myself that's it's going to be ok, that he'll be ok, but I don't know how realistic that is. Maybe I'll know more after we've seen the oncologist and MacMillan nurse on Monday. I feel like I don't want to ask questions in front of dad in case I upset him. I wonder if that's normal or am I being over cautious? All I know is that I love my dad and want to do whatever is best for him.