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I am not sure where i start as this is all new to me , usually i cope. My stepfather who i am very close to and who has been my father for 27 years was recently diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer it has hit our family very hard as dad worked till he was 78 years old was always a big strong man and very healthy. He was diagnosed in February and within a mnth they had told him it had spread to his liver and it was terminal all they could offer him was chemotherapy which will hopefully give him a bit more time.

My family are finding it very difficult no one more so than me as i live a 3 hour drive away and work full time in a school so the only uality time i get to visit is school holidays , although my boss has been fantastic and said when i need time i can have it.

My mum is finding it very difficult as she is also ill, dad doesnt want to do anything he wont even make a cup of tea, from a man that would do everything, even do building work up till he was diagnosed has somehow given up. He has gone from a big strong man to a very thin frail man who just wants to vegitate and this is what i cannot cope with. My dad has given up and we do not know what we can do to help him. We have spoke to the hospital who have suggested he go to a day care centre once a week as this will get him out of the house but he is having none of it.

Our family has not been very lucky when it comes to cancer we lost my stepbrother to leukemia when he was 21 years old and my nephew to the same disease when he was just 9 so our family has gone through some hard times.

I searched google to find a site where i could pore out my emotions to people who will listen as i find it hard to talk to mum and my other family because they are coping with a lot more than i have to with me not being there.

Dad didnt want to know how long he had left but my sister who has been an absolute godsend through all this and has been to every appointment with mum and dad asked the doctor for some sort of time and he replied that they needed to get his fionances in ordewr asap. Dad has chemotherapy every two weeks and and next week will be his 7th lot of chemotherapy and 3 weeks ago he had an mri scan which showed that although the cancer has not spread it has not changed at all. What are his chances of lasting another year ?????????

Thankyou for listening
Sherry

Sherry I am terribly sorry to hear about your dad's illness. I know how hard this is to deal with, and I also know that it feels awful when they give up on life. Sometimes it is just all too much for some people. The fatigue they feel with the cancer is terrible, but throw in some chemotherapy and that drags them down even further, especially for someone of that age. I'm so sorry but no-on on here can tell you how long your dad may have. The oncologist is the best person to tell you, but even they only have a "guesstimate" based on the averages, and some go quicker, and some fight on and surprise everyone.

It is likely that if your sister asks, they will say whether they think its nearer 6 months than 12months or whatever, but they really can't give you anthing definite. We have recently been told my husband has weeks only. But how many weeks??? they wont say because they can't.
So sorry, I just hope you can find some comfort in talking to others on here
Love & hugs BarbHarry x x

Hello to Phil's missus

Welcome to the site, but so sorry for the reason you need to be here. When someone is diagnosed I think we all go through the guilt thing of Why didn't we realise sooner, seek help sooner or do something that could have saved them all this pain & illness. But you have no need to feel guilty for sending her to the docs, and the rational part of you knows that. I'm sorry that the treatment they gave to seal the lung hasn't worked, but its good that she can get home and be with her family.

All you can do now is give her lots of love & support and make the most of the time you have together. Are they going to offer any further treatment?

Love & hugs BarbHarry x x

Hi Catherine

That is terrible. Where in the world are you outer mongolia??? You should have lots of backup and support with your husband. Has he been assigned a Mac nurse? If not get onto your GP and ask for a referral. Tell the mac nurse, or the GP that you need more help. Ask for a specialist nurse to help him with his breathing problems. I would have thought,they should be giving him breathing exercises or some kind of physio to get him used to breathing differently.
If you dont feel you are getting anywhere try the helpline on here and speak to a nurse.

By phone
Call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 1234 (Mon–Fri 9am–8pm). The helpline number is also free from these mobile phone networks: 3, O2, Orange, T-Mobile, Virgin, Vodaphone when calls are made from the UK.

Hi Sonya, so sorry to hear about your mum. If you click on Tags in green left hand side, you can search for Hodgkins, or Lymphoma and that will bring up posts by others with this type of cancer, that you can then join by going to the bottom and replying. I think there is also a lymphoma & Hodgkins group, so have a look under groups as well. (In blue under green Share on left hand side of page again)

Wishing your mum all the very best with her treatment

HarryB x x