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John, I am so sorry for your loss, your story is a sad one, but at least your Mum held on just to give you that special smile.......you might now wish to start a thread on the 'In memory' side of the forum, for you to post there, talk about your Mum, talk to your Mum as well, and to help you through your grief. John, it will take time for you to grieve, and it will be YOUR time, don't let anyone else try to tell you what you will feel and when, as grief is so very individual. Again, I'm so sorry you didn't get the chance for one last talk....Rest in peace, John's Mum.

Hello to you, it has been said so many times, that you can choose your friends but not your family........my sympathy to you, at least you know that on this site you aren't really talking to strangers, you are among fellow sufferers and carers and family members. do think about filling in a short profile and opening it to view, as I think it will enable others to help you. you might also think about going onto the 'coping with loss' or 'in memory' forums on here, too. Do keep posting....it does help!

Hi

I'm doing things a bit backward! As I joined yesterday and put a post on about my Dad who's just been diagnosed. Just wanted to say that I'm already so touched by peoples reponses and just kind of in awe of how many brave and inspirational people are on here.

I'm sure i'll be posting more over the next weeks, months, years

Thanks Emma x

Emma, I have posted onto your 'proper' thread, about not wanting to know too much especially at the start of the journey...keep posting! It does help

Hello



Very newbie here. Not new to cancer unfortunatly because we have been living with it for 7 years now. Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000. Given the all clear then diagnosed with secondary cancer in 2003. Ups and downs over the years but not too bad really but she is in so much pain since Sunday and is fighting us all the way about contacting doctors/specialists nurses that I am now at a loss as to what to do. I had oral cancer in November 07 and recent biopsy came back today as "changes" and they want to investigate further I dont know how to help my mum, help myself, look after my son (single parent) tell my mum. I am trying to get part time hours at work but the general feeling is it is not going to happen then again I am not sure I can afford to live on part time hours but I want to be there for mum as I feel the cancer has advanced to such an extent that there is not much they can do anymore. Should I delay the investigation (they didnt say the cancer was back just some cell changes) and be there for mum, she has been there for me every single day of my 41 years so i owe her that much at least. Anyone else faced this? Please advice as to be perfectly honest I can barely decide what to cook for tea never mind decide about this stuff. Also is the only access to a macmillan nurse for mum through the GP cause if it is I am stuffed cause she is refusing to ask. Can I ask the GP without mums permission?



Jo xxxxx

Afternoon Christine

Thank you for replying not much has changed but then again I did post that message at stupid o'clock last night and it is only just gone 1 in the aternoon the next day. I decided to send an email to my line manager stating why I wanted part time hours instead of just saying I wanted them I explained the circumstances leading up to asking. No idea if that will make any difference to be honest but a colleague said I looked very stressed and joked that it would be no good going off with stress (nudge nudge wink wink) Mum has been on the phone asking for my son's (13 year old teenager) bank details I know she wants to put his "inheritance" into his account but i dont want her money i want her here, how do I say that without dismissing how she feels and what she wants to do.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH I hate this

Hello Jo,
Good on you for emailing your line-manager! I hope you will get a compassionate response.I have been thinking a lot about what you said about your Mum wanting to put your son's inheritance into his account and I wonder if you could go along with her wishes and thank her... but also tell her that you and your son would really rather have her than all the the money in the world. It is just a thought.my Mum gave me lots of things before she died and i felt very much the way you do. I now have these things on display in my house and I feel at peace about it because that was what Mum wanted.
I wish you well as you face another day on your rollercoaster.I hope you are managing to sleep reasonably well - not easy, I know, with so much whizzing around in your head.
love and prayers,
Christine

Hello all,

I hope you're all managing okay. I'm sorry if I'm not saying the right thing, I guess I just don't know what to say. Things are still the same since my first post and I'm feeling so scared and frustrated by it all. After being told two weeks ago that my mum has incurable lung cancer we've heard nothing more from the hospital. No appointments, phone calls, nothing. I feel like we've been abandoned. Can anyone tell me if this is normal? We have no idea how aggressive it is, how far it's spread, how much time she has left and what treatment may be available to her. How long will this go on? None of us feel able to even begin to try and come to terms with it when we don't know what we're up against. Sorry for having a moan. Just feeling lonely and frightened with no idea what to do or who to turn to.

Take care everyone,

Clare.

XX