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Thanks Chrystal,

I will check the other site.Thanks for your comments and greetings
Apart from my"fragile" state one of the main reasons for flagging the post op Chemo was that all my internet research and discussions with the medical fraternity could give us no evidence that it would actually achieve anything.
We asked (among many other things) - If I have post op 9 week chemo now and the the cancer comes back what will be the treatment? Answer - more chemo.
If I don't have the chemo now and it comes back what is the treatment? Answer - more chemo.
If I have chemo now can you measure if it is achieving anything? Answer - It's difficult to say!
Another deciding factor is that the weather here in the southern hemisphere is pretty nice up until June so we thought we should make hay while the sun shines.
We saw our oncologist on friday and after a good check over (and he is a top guy and we relate well) he reckoned We/I had made a good decision.
Must go and make some more hay!

Welcome aboard Ben. You may be far away from most of us, but I am sure you will find friendship and support on here, to help you through these "choppy seas".

All the best

HarryB x

Good evening everyone,

I am new to this website and just wanted to send my love and thoughts to everyone on here.

My husband(now 39) has been suffering with what the doctors diagnosed as IBs for nearly 3 years. After the last 6 months of both of us knowing it was more serious, him losing 1.5 stone in a month, we have just found out that he has bowel cancer and it has spread to his other major organs, The oncologist has said it is is terminal and not curable but are quite optimistic that the chemo they can offer does respond well to the type of cancer he has. He went into hospital on 12th Feb for a stent to be put in his bowel but because the tuma is so large unfortunately he had to have emergency permanant colostomy operation and has come home from hospital today. I want to give the upmost praise and thanks to the staff at the LGI Leeds for being fantastic and understanding as its only been 9 days since we found out and have had to begin to come to terms with the cancer and the op. We both feel our lives have been turned upside down and we have our appointment tomorrow at jimmys to find out the plan for chemo. Both my husband and I feel really strongly (and i feel angry) that because of his age and the lack of evidence of him ever passing blood, cancer has always been ruled out and he was never offered any blood tests, screening, scans etc. We want to raise awareness that you can have cancer and not have these syptoms and would urge anyone with IBS syptoms that if they feel they are not happy to push for tests. unfortunately for us it is too late and we are now dealing with the fact that we have only been married for 2 and a half years and had not yet had children, so much to think and talk about.

I still feel like its not real and dont know how to explain what i feel or how sad and scared i am for both myself but upmost my husband. Lots of love to everyone living with or affected by this tragic disease.

Ursula xxxxxx

Hi Julie

Welcome to the site, but so sorry of the reason you need to be here. I think it is very difficult to make sense of our feelings in these situations. Its an emotional rollercoaster, which we all have difficulty with. I think its natural that you worry about yourself too, as your nan also had it. I know you want to be informed and that is why you are reading up on it. I think most women do the same thing, and most men dont want to know! However, you may find like me, that you end up overwhelming yourself and scaring yourself half to death! Try taking it a day at a time. Your mum needs your support, and I am sure you will give her that. Probably the most important thing you can do is make sure she has someone to go to all her appointments with her. No doubt your dad will go to some, but if he can't sometimes perhaps you can go. The patient very rarely seems to take in what is said, and you really do need another pair of ears to just listen and remember.

Its good news that it is small and grade 1. Pity about the consultant!! Ask about your mum having a macmillan nurse, and just be there to talk with her & listen to her. If you are really worried that it may run in the family, talk to your mum's oncologist about getting checked out yourself. I believe it is less likely to be a hereditary type if your mum and gran got it after the age of mid forties.
This site is great for friendship & support
Wishing you all the best
Love & hugs HarryB x x