Are friends and family ever enough?

Heartfelt ((((((((hugs)))))) Anne

For your dear Helen sent with much love http://youtu.be/u1v60FITAfY

Love Rod, we watched not so long ago for one night only with Rod, was up dancing so many happy memories of of our youth.

.(((hugs))))

I cleaned up the mess in the bedroom. The ceiling was to remain down for the next 5 months. Glad I didn't know that at the time. Then I set about making phone calls.

The next morning Andrew was due for his scan. I went over that afternoon when the doctor was due to give him some news. The doctor and I arrived at the same time. One of Andrew's friends, Chris was already there. The news was not good. We already knew there was cancer on several vertebrae in his lower back. Apparently this had caused one to collapse and as a result his spine could no longer support him. There were options, but he'd have to see a surgeon, and any treatment would have to be put before a panel of all his various doctors in order to assess it's potential benefits, given his already terminal status.

I stayed the rest of the day, but nothing I could say or do was going to help him face this latest blow. Eventually he stopped wanting to talk and I had to leave.

For the next few hours I did nothing but worry. Before going to bed I decided to ring the ward to see if he was alright. The nurse I spoke to said that he seemed in very good spirits! In fact he and the three other men on his ward were laughing so loudly that they'd had to close all the doors to stop them disturbing other patients.

I went to bed much relieved, but puzzled as to what on earth they could find to laugh at. All were in a similar situation to Andrew. Well, I'd probably find out the next day.

Apparently the party started when Trevor accused someone in the ward of stealing his sweets while he was dozing. The ward consisted of Andrew, who was to all intents and purposes immobile, Norman, who was connected to so many drips and tubes it would take NASA to get him out of bed, and Tony, who'd had major abdominal surgery a couple of days previously. After that the conversation moved on to tasteless funeral songs and people you'd like to stitch up in your will. 

Maybe you had to be there.

Anyway, whatever the conversation, it cheered Andrew up and he was much more positive when I arrived that evening. He decided he needed a change of scene, so with some difficulty and a hoist, we managed to get him propped up in a wheelchair. 

The part of the hospital we were in had only just opened. It was all very shiny, new and modern. We had a good nosy about and then made our way towards the entrance. This was a huge double height atrium and quite a large space. Visiting time was over and when we got out of the lift the whole massive space was completely empty. So what else was there to do but attempt the wheelchair indoor speed record.

They must have seen us from the security control room. There were cameras everywhere. But nobody came to stop us and  we had a wonderful time careering all round that huge space. Eventually exhaustion (mine!) put a stop to our activity and we went back to the ward. Andrew was hoisted back into bed and I set off to go home.

As I got out of the lift and began to walk towards the exit, I saw two security guards standing near the door. With increasing trepidation I continued to walk towards them, rehearsing my defence as I went. After all, we hadn't hit anything and hospital wheelchairs aren't exactly known for their responsive steering.

They didn't say a word to me, but as I walked past, one of them gave me a huge wink.

Good Morning alI. t's Friday already. For me this week has sped by, and in a good way, not a rushed off my feet way.

My song choice for today is anything at all by Bruce Springsteen.

Have a good weekend

love, Anne.x

Anne, I read that last entry of yours and gave a guffaw! 

Apologies, folks! I missed the post-a-tune-time on last Friday, to dance the cr** out of cancer, but my tune would have been the title track, 'Smile' by Carol Jarvis, as she had phoned with happy tears the night before.......

love and hugs to you all

The next day brought some welcome good news. The surgeons would operate to brace Andrew's lower spine with some rather complex metalwork so that he could at least sit, and even possibly walk. Naturally, he was worried about the operation, but what choice did he have? It was either that or spend whatever time he had left to him flat on his back and dependant on 24 hour care. The op was to take place in 3 days time.

Those 3 days passed rather too quickly for Andrew. The op went ahead and went well... apart from his previously documented difficult relationship with pain relief. Once again he woke up in a lot of pain and once again needed heavy doses. This meant that visitors for the next couple of days were treated to the story of how he'd had a lamb removed from his back because it was making too much noise! And not just his visitors, everyone else's visitors as well.

Slowly he got better. He moved from the HDU to the ward and plans had to be made. He needed to go somewhere to convalesce and to receive regular physiotherapy in the hopes of him regaining the ability to walk. It was decided that a hospice would be the best place. I was so relieved. He was so terrified. I didn't know why until he eventually came out with the fear that they were sending him there to die. I pointed out that they would hardly have given him thousands of pounds worth of metalwork if he was about to pop his clogs. That seemed to make sense to him amd he set about planning his move to the hospice in a positive and hopeful frame of mind. 

We have all forgotten tunes to dance the c**p out of cancer to.......that was supposed to be at 3pm, I apologise, I was having a long needed chat with an old friend over a long lunch1 

My tune, however, is the same as last week, 'Smile' by Carol Jarvis from the CD of the same name......profits go to support Macmillan! 

Forgot as well. Oh dear! Very busy day, but no excuse.

My song for today is 'Because The Night' Patti Smith.

Have a lovely weekend all.

love from Anne.x

I got the afternoon off work so I could go with him to the hospice. He was worried still, but had at least got over the idea that death was imminent. When we arrived we were both pleasantly surprised. It was a really beautiful place. everyone was very nice and tried their best to make him welcome. I left several hours later very much relieved he seemed to be in a good place.

Over the next few weeks we got into a sort of a routine. He got stronger and was beginning to learn how to support himself on crutches. He couldn't walk far, but we were starting to be hopeful that he would, in time. I'd visit after work on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and spend the bulk of either Saturday or Sunday. I'd collect his post and provide a shopping and laundry service. His friends, Richard and Chris would drop in as often as they could, as would many others. Everything was looking hopeful. We started to make plans for his return home.

The summer holidays arrived. I was so relieved. The visiting schedule was hard on top of a full time job. The hospice was about an hours drive from work and not getting home until 8 or 9 o'clock was beginning to take it's toll on me. But he was doing well and seemed to be happy and it was worth it for the peace of mind in knowing that his care did not rest solely with me.

He got to be so well that we were able to take him on days out. Once one of the nurses at the hospital actually went and got his dream car out and took him for a run in the dales. He was so thrilled, even though he wasn't driving it.

For me, hospice life had other benefits. I met so many wonderful and interesting people there. I like to listen to people, so hearing their stories was no hardship and it seemed to be the least I could do. Even now, three years later, I still remember them all.

And then, one August morning, I got a phone call.