hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
hi susan great to hear from you, how are you feeling? i think i am going backwards have been feeling really horrid, cant sleep, cant think straight, cant do anything reallly. i suppose its all to be expected, you cant have a really loving and very close relationship with your parents, and your mums been your best friend forever, just to get on with your life as if nothings happened now there gone can you susan? i know you understand as you have had this wonderful relationship with yours too, its all so hard isnt it? i hope you have a good week, and your family are all ok, will speak soon, will be thinking of you, lots of love karen xxxxx
hi amanda good to hear from you, hope you have a better week, its horrible when you feel really low about whats happened isnt it? hope your sleep gets better. like myself and susan you have obviously had a really close and loving relationship with your mum, and no not many people do understand what you are feeling do they? my hubby is good but doesnt understand he still has his parents, but there nowhere near as close as we were, he is sad about my mum but it doesnt touch how we feel does it? i tend to snap very easy and quickly at him, you cant help it can you? bless them!! what a lovely idea to go to eurodisney, aaron will love it. hope your session goes ok this week, and hope your dad is ok. take care will speak soon, thinking of you, lots of love karen xxxxxx
Hi there. I'm new to the Macmillan site and the reason I am here is that I lost my mother to breast cancer 11 years ago. She died on November 11th at 11 am and she had been a WAAF in the war, so rather a poignant day for me.
My reason for joining is that the Macmillan ward and the nurses made the whole thing bearable for all of us. They looked after my Mum so well and three of them came to her funeral as she had been with them longer than any other patient. 6 months.
I am so grateful to them for the care, the support and just about everything. Nothing will bring my Mum back, but she went with love and peace.
My name is Debbie and I am new to this site, so hello all.
I lost my beautiful mum to cancer on the 26/09/2006, this was the second time she had cancer she beat breast cancer in 1997 and got the all clear in 2003 but unfortunately it came back.
My mum was diagnosed in June 2005 so she fought on until Sept 2006, as I am the only daughter and she wanted to spend as much time as she could at home, I gave up my evenings to stay at her house and look after her. In the last 2 weeks of her life she went into the Macmillan Unit and they were fantastic, my mum felt at peace in there. I was holding her hand when she passed away and I visited her every day at the chapel of rest until her funeral on the 02/10/2006. I did a speach at the funeral which was very hard but something that I wanted to do.
I miss her every day as we were very close and as my parents had split when I was 8 years old (now 33) we spent alot of time together.
I have been reading some of your stories and my heart goes out to every single person who uses this site, as we have all been affected in some way. It's hard to explain to other people how you feel, people have been great but as it's now 7 weeks after the funeral they just return to their normal lives but unfortunately I can't at the moment. It would have been my mothers 60th birthday on the 15/11/2006 so I had a little party at my house with my best friend.
A week after the funeral I fell and broke my ankle so that's been really tough as I am off work with all the time in the world to think about things. I have a little cry most days and everything and anything sets it off, christmas adverts on the tv, happy or sad films, books or mags I may read.
Sometimes I feel really bad as everyone around me is talking about Christmas and I'm just not interested at all. I have never been a big fan of Christmas but my mum absolutely loved it.
I know in my heart that it will get easier in time but I just feel at the moment that everyone around me thinks I should now be ok, maybe I'm just being silly.
jean, i am sorry for your loss. i agree with you about the macmillan nurses they are fantastic and do a marvellouse job, mum was at home and we had them come round to see her, and they made mum feel at peace. lots of love karen xxx
debbie, my heart goes out to you, your terrible loss is still very raw, my mum passed away on the 20th sept. like you i stayed with my mum until she passed, at least they had there family around them, which is what mum wanted. your mum was the same age as mime, do you feel youve been robbed of a lot of many more years and happiness with her, i do. i know what your saying about everyone getting on around you and feel you cant move on, it is very hard and people who havent gone through it just dont understand do they? my thoughts are with you, we are all here for you and with you, as we all know what your going through and it helps to come and speak, shout or whatever you want to do. speak soon, take care big hug (), lots of love karen xxx
Sorry I have been working away this week so have not had much chance to get online but I have been able to watch what's been happening so I have been in touch. How are you, I can see that already you are moving on yourself as you are now talking to Debbie and Jean, it's like a circle of friend is'nt it - we are all moving around at different times. Sometimes forward and yet quite often back (although never quite all the way back!).
I hope you are sleeping a little better, my day always still starts with thinking about my mum but more and more they are happier thoughts that she may now be at peace and hopefully she is happy to be back with my dad. So it must be nearly 3 months now for you, has it gone by quickly?. For me it feels as if it is so long since I have seen my mum and yet it's not really that long.
I know what you mean about your husband and family not really being able to identify with the intense deep sense of loss and the huge void that lies within your heart. My husband is really caring and would do anything he could to help me but he does not know how I feel, his parents are still here and he does not have the same relationship with his parents as I had with my mum so it's all very difficult. However, I can see now that I am more able to cope with just everyday life and although I know that I can never have my mum back here to share my life, I can carry on and I am getting better at coping - perhaps because the really bad days are fewer that they were. Nonethless, they do creep on at times just when you do not expect them! As far as the next few weeks are concerned, we are all aware how difficult and challenging they will be and yet as long as we can share our feelings and fears then maybe it will be a little less difficult?
I hope your boys are doing ok and that you have a good week, thanks for getting back to me, I do appreciate you being here.
Thank you for both of your replies and words of support. This week has been a bit easier - def not as low as last week thank goodness!! Had counselling on Friday, and yes had lots to talk about so just need to try and put some of advice into practice now!
Yes plan for Christmas Susan, will be to have my dad, brother and his partner over just so we can all be together and make it nice for children. A very good friend of mine who I have known since I was eight is coming over from America with her little boy (last time she was over was for my wedding and our boys were both nearly a year old) so that will be a welcome distraction and she remembers so many stories from when we were little that it will be nice to reminise.
Have been looking after my mums dog this weekend -it is difficult for dad because of work and his neighbour have been great helping out but think they needed a bit of break too (they started talking about finding the right person to take dog - I said that if it came to it then we would have him because there is no way he is going to anyone else!) Know it would be difficult with children (and husband is not really an animal lover) but its mums so i could never let him go and my dad would hate that too. It has been nice though - Josie gets so excited when she sees him and we have had a lovely long walk today in woods.
I hope you are both well and I will check in again soon with more news! Thinking about you both, take care and lots of love Amanda xx
Looks as if we were both online at the same time tonight - I was just thinking about you , wondering how your week had been!
So it sounds as if it was better than last week and I'm pleased to hear that the counselling went well. How was the fooball? Hope it all went well and it was either a win or a draw!. So another challenge now, looking after the dog, I can quite understand that you feel that you should be involved in looking after him - at least to help out your dad! I imagine that for the most part he is good company for your dad and they support each other - does he seeem to miss your mum as well?
So the next few weeks will be packed for you and I'm sure that will be good - if only to keep busy. It's great to have a friend who has known you and your family for so long and what a treat to be able to chat on happily about old times with someone who has some insight and knowledge about you and your family.
I hope your week goes well and I'm so pleased to see you here and t know that your week has been better. Both you and Karen are very much in my thoughts and I have to thank you both for your help and support.
Have a good week,
love Susan x *** Edited 26/11/2006 22:55:52 GMT by susans***
I am sorry about both of your mums and hope you ae both doing okay.
Debbie my mum had breast cancer too back in 1998 and was given the all clear in 2003 then it came back in Feb 2005 as secondaries and she passed away in Feb 2006. We all understand here how you are feeling especially about Christmas approaching. My mum loved this time of year too so I am just going to try hard to remember that and make it as nice a time as possible just like she made it for all of us, for all of our past Christmases. It will be oh so hard I know, but we just have to try as hard as we can to get through it.
