hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
How are you all?I thought you were away for the week (as Louise says, it must be old age).I'm glad you had a good few days, and the weather was lovely wasn’t it?
Karen your dream was interesting, but its your mums way of telling you that she hasn’t died at all, no one ever dies, she goes on in spirit and is with you always.I'm sorry it made you feel so awful, but the reality of it all when you wake up just hits you doesn’t it.The fact that you saw your Dad too is also his way of letting you know hes still around and watching everything that goes on.Please don’t feel bad about any of it, its just their way of letting you know they really are ok and not far away from you.
Have you had the interview yet, if so, how did it go?Do you have any plans for the rest of this week?I have to get out soon, (still sitting here doing nothing again!).speak later, take care, love jayne xxx
How are you all?Glad you had a good few days away.What you said to Karen about her dream was great, its exactly what we need to hear.I can't emphasise enough to people that we really do go on, this isn't the end for anyone.And how would anyone know that you only had the ONE dream if it wasn’t your Mum coming to tell you??? No one would have known that would they, only your lovely Mum.So it IS their way of letting us know they're ok and are with us.And no, it doesn’t stop us wanting them here, but we just have to keep going for them, they would want us to.
That’s sad about Rassay, I hope something can be worked out for him, how old is he?You’ve been busy in the garden then?It just seems never ending doesn’t it?that sounds lovely about the fish, Aaron will love doing that again, it will be something to talk about and bring your Mum into the conversation.My Mum planted an apple pip that James had picked out an apple one day, and it had grown about 7 inches tall, but last year with the heat and me being at the hospital with Mum 24/7, I lost it and I feel so bad about it.Mum had put a little label in it saying James’s apple.So last week I put an apple out for our blackbird and took 4 pips out and planted them, then put mums label back in it.I hope at least one of them grows.I never told James that I lost the original one, maybe he’s forgot (but kids don’t forget do they).Your tubs will all look lovely when they're done, your Mum will be watching and smiling at you re-potting everything.What are you doing this week Amanda, anything interesting?I really do have to get moving now, lots to do (back permitting).My hubby will be phoning soon and he’ll say what are you up to???? Can't say ‘nothing’ can I, so will have to pretend to be busy!!Have a good day Amanda, speak soon, take care and love to you and Aaron and Josie.I hope your Dad is feeling better too, love jayne xxx
So sorry that I didn’t get back to you yesterday. You are there in a flash for me when I'm feelingh down-sorry Jayne. How are you feeling now? You sounded as if your weekend was very emotional and bringing back lots of memories. These “special” times do that, don’t they? I too often wonder about what Mum was feeling and thinking towards the end. The stroke affected her so much that sometimes I think she didn’t have a clue what was going on which was really a blessing I suppose. Your mum seemed to be such a strong woman, Jayne. You sound as if you take after her.
Did you get the clothes shopping done then? As you realise, I’m not keen on that either just now but I ventured into town yesterday. Only went to M & S and got a lovely top in Peruna and finally got a pair of comfy shoes with heals in Clarks. (prefer flatties nowadays!) I nearly always went shopping with mum and I left it so long before going back that it was getting harder and harder to go. But although I found it very strange being alone, hey, I did it-what an achievement-eh!! I hope this weather keeps up for your holiday. Do you still get out the fishing tackle even in the rain?
I’m just back from the doctor and don’t know what to think really. He appeared quite unconcerned about the chest pains and thinks it’s maybe trapped nerves-very unusual pain he said. I’m getting quite worried now but I'm sure he thinks I’m wasting his time. I wish the pain had been bad this morning to let him see how it affects me. I’ve to get the BP monitor home again as it’s still very high and the medication might be increased next time. I also wanted to talk about my anxiety about going away on holiday but he had a student with him today and so I just kept quiet – I think I may have been carted off to the looney bin if I’d brought that up!! I never mentioned the weight loss either as that’s probably down to the amount of walking I’ve been doing in the hols. What am I like???
Any more jobs on the go, Jayne? This time next week my little dears will be back and I’ll feel as if I’ve never been away. I’ve some work to do before going back but I’m afraid it’s not going to be today. I am off to B & Q to get rose feed and I’ll do the roses tomorrow as the gas man is coming between 8-1 so I’m stranded till he goes past. On Friday I’m hopefully doing a tour of the relatives but I can’t get hold of any of them on the phone yet.
You take good care, Jayne and I promise to get my little legs to take me up to this computer later to see how you’re doing.
how are you feeling today? better i hope, it sounds as though you had a rough easter and all the thoughts of your mum, these special times are very hard arent they jayne? sometimes you just cant help the tears coming and the emotions can you? i hope you are feeling a bit brighter now, and i send you a great big hug!!!!!
any news on the jobs yet? or any more interviews? i have mine tomorrow at 3 o'clock, hubby started his job today so keep he gets on ok.
my neighbour just knocked the door jayne as her dog got over the fence into my garden, i felt such a fool as we were speaking i just started crying and couldnt stop, poor woman she didnt know what to say, it is so horrible isnt it?
about my dreams/visions jayne, i hope it was mum and dad coming to tell me there still about, the strangest thing was that mum hadnt married dad she had married an old boyfriend of hers wierd eh??????????? last night i had another strange one cant really remember it now.
we are going to see colin fry in october on my dads anniversary.
went to the cemetery yesterday it was so lovely with the sun shining.
i really do hope you feel better today jayne, and send all my love to you, speak very soon, lots of love karen xxx
good to hear from you, i am so glad you had a good time away and jonathan too.
it seems we are all having such vivd dreams at the moment doesnt it? did you feel comforted by yours susan or did it upset you? you wake up and think for a split second that there still here dont you?
i had another one last night but cant really remember it now.
hubby started his job today so hope it goes ok, i have an interview tomorrow and my sister started hers yesterday she said it was ok but was very emotional after as my mum used to go and meet her when she had finished.
are you back at work now susan? if so hope all is well.
how is bella and her little kitten? i bet there are ruling your house arent they? bless them.
i just said to jayne i felt such a fool when my neighbour knocked the door a while ago, she was speaking and i just started to cry and couldnt stop about my mum, poor lady she didnt know what to do.
anyway susan hope you have a good day, speak soon, lots of love karen xxx
Well is all the washing and ironing up to date again? The boys will have been enjoying this lovely weather.
I hope hubby’s first day goes well. Does he have to work shifts? And good luck with your interview tomorrow. I‘ll be thinking of you with butterflies in my tummy!
There’s nothing wrong with getting upset in front of the neighbour, Karen. It’s just so hard when everything is brought up again. Did she know before about your parents? Let’s hope she doesn’t have to go through what you have experienced. Are you feeling any better in yourself, Karen? Do you think the medication is kicking in? I was hoping to stop mine but I was handed another prescription today so didn’t say a thing this time.
It’s a lovely day here again so I’m just wondering what I’ll go and do. I hate staying in on a fine day as we get so few of them up here.
Hopefully I’ll catch up later.
Lots of love
Louise
xxxx
we are all having dreams at the moment arent we? like you this is the only dream i have had about mum, did yours upset you louise or did you feel comforted? it shocks you doesnt it cos when i woke up i thought for a split second that she was still here, and then you realise the truth and its awful isnt it? i had another one last night but cant remember it now.
i went to the cemetery yesterday and it was so lovely with the sun shining.
how have you been feeling over easter louise? the special times are horrible arent they? not looking forward to next month either as it is mums birthday she would be 61 bless her, its no age is it louise? our parents were too young to go werent they?
i hope you are having a nice break, when do you go back to work?
are your chest pains still bad? i wonder if it could be all down to stress, as i have had these pains etc., for years and they still coma and go now and its awful and very frightening, the more you worry about them the worse they get.
anyway louise, have a good day speak to you very soon, lots of love karen xxx
Karen we’re here together I see. I just wanted to say yes, I got very upset about the dream I had. I woke myself up crying as it was so real to me-idiot!!! But try and take comfort from it, Karen.
