hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
Your walk tomorrow sounds like heaven. Its going to be really warm so the beach is the place to be, you lucky thing. I will be thinking of you on that beach while i'm sitting in my little garden wondering where on earth we are going to put the bbq !!!! have a good walk, and speak to you soon. xxxx
Guess who again???? Can’t sleep –grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Off for a cold drink. I’ve left the heating on by mistake and it’s like a sauna-thought I was having hot flushes!!!!
Hello everyone!!! - hope you all enjoying the lovely sunshine,and that you've found a good spot for the barbeque Jayne.I'm running around like a headless chicken,theres such a lot to do to get four peolpe away,and the boys are being no help at all!!!!
Still,what i forget stays forgotten doesn't it!!! Just hope it wont be anything important,like everyones underwear or something!!!
I shall miss all of you next week.I hope that you all have good weeks.
Sharon,i hope that you're feeling better when you get to read this,which will probably be tuesday,unless your local library will be open this saturday?It will be great when you do get your own PC- we will all be able to catch you in the evenings sometimes.Anyway,please give my very best to your mum as always.I hope that you are doing ok healthwise as well-did you get your test results back?? i must have missed a post somewhere.Anyway,please take care.
Louise-- hope you and Benji have a lovely Easter.
Jayne- i hope that you and hubby enjoy the hols as well,and that you have plenty of nice weather for doing lots of bbq's!
Amanda and Liz-- hope all is well with you and your families.
Karen- i hope that you will have had a lovely break away and that your youngest will have a really good birthday on 13th.
right,best get on i guess.Have just taken pigs to their holiday home! i'm not sure how much they like it,but they can't tell me either way can they! we take them to a local farm who board small pets.I'd rather do that than give a friend the responsibility as if anything happened to either of them whilst we were away,any poor friend would be mortified.Both pigs are getting on a bit,so you never know.i felt horrid leaving them.they may only be guinea pigs,but they are important little characters to me.I shall miss all of you next week,being able to come on here is a bit of a safety net sometimes,especially when you hit a low point,which we all still do from time to time.Take care all of you.XXXXX
Just popped on here after returning from another lunch out and must just have missed you. Have a great time on your hols. I was asked today if I’d like to go away in the summer –just not sure. I’m afraid I might spoil it for everyone, on the other hand it might be just what I need. I’ll have to think about it.
I’ve given up on my space-don’t know why I did it really-idiot!! Good fun designing it all though. Prefer this site-sort of feels as if we’re more together. I’ve haven’t cancelled it yet but may well do it soon.
Off to do some chores.
Enjoy!
Jayne- hope the bbq shopping went well and you're enjoying the garden in the sunshine. Weather not so good here this afternoon.
Did you get the new bbq then? Does hubby do the cooking on it? It’s lovely again here today but the wind is getting up now.
I’m just back from my cemetery visit. I went up there today and stupidly broke down completely at first. I felt as if it everything had just happened and the heartache I felt was incredible. I just wanted my mum so much. I know I keep saying it ,but a year on and still I get times like this where I can’t believe it’s all happened- I sometimes think I haven’t accepted anything yet and don't know how to cope with it all at times. (a fool, I know!) I met a chap there who has just lost his mum. He was sitting in the middle of all the wreaths looking totally lost so I spoke to him for a little while and that helped me.
Anyway, I hope you have a lovely weekend together. I’m away to walk to Tesco as I’m in charge of the works lottery and I forgot to put it on. It would be just my luck if I didn’t do it and our numbers came up.
Hope to catch up later. Susan should be home soon, shouldn’t she? I’ve missed her.
Love
Louise
xxx
PS I’m going to delete my other site. Did it on impulse and I've made myself sound so boring ( self esteem!!) and i see today I even got my age wrong!!! I’ve also blocked nearly everyone out so I didn’t see much sense in it. It was fun designing it though but couldn’t find any decent pics of myself. Marie registered too so I had a chat with her. Now that I know what to do if I feel inclined again it will be easier.
How are you today I hope your having a good weekend. I had a really crap day yesturday. I'm finding it really hard to stay strong for mum when I feel so so low. She's also feeling low I think mainly due to the fact she gets no support from dad. He should be there for her and it makes me so angry to think she is having to deal with this all on her own. I am the only one who is supporting her. Dad doesn't seem to care. I was having really bad thoughts last night won't say what but I guess you will probably know what I mean anyway I managed to distract myself with a bottle of wine and tonight I'm having a few bottles of lager it helps to block the thoughts out, hope I don't have hangover tomorrow but if I do so what I really don't care. Anyway whatever your doing this weekend have a good one love Sharon xxx
How are you. I hope your feeling better after your trip to the cemetery, it must be so difficult for you. Have you any plans for next week or are you just chilling you take care love Sharon xxxx
How are you feeling now?No we didn’t get the bbq in the end because we tried to go shopping in asda and it was madness, couldn’t park.So ended up going to morrisons and then for a few drinks in the village, then came home and sat in the back garden.we were going to get one today, but the sun keeps going in and it looked quite overcast earlier, but its nice again now, so will probably go and sit outside in a mo.
What flowers did you take today?I know what you feel like about breaking down Louise, I had a bad afternoon yesterday.It’s the first time we’ve sat in the garden without Mum, it was so strange.We just sat talking about her (well I did), hubby just listened to me.I kept crying.I miss her so much, I can't believe its happened either, it just doesn’t seem real.We saw my cousin in the pub and he said my Mum and Dad had the right idea, they used to travel all over the place and went to some wonderful places.They had a good life, but my Dad was taken far too soon.
What was the guy like you spoke to at the cemetery?I'm sure he really appreciated someone to talk to, especially as you understand what its like.It’s a good job you remembered the lottery, can you imagine if you had have forgot and the numbers came up ???!!!!!What a nightmare that would be, you’d have to emigrate so no one could find you !
I unregistered from the other site, I couldn’t seem able to get anywhere with it.(I'm a bit thick I think), I thought yours was good, the pics were nice.I don’t think I could find anything interesting to say about myself really, except I'm an unemployed orphan !! not very exciting is it.I had a letter from that job I went for saying I was unsuccessful, thank goodness for that, it was a horrible place.Well I think I'm off into the garden as the sun is out and looks like its staying.Hope you're having a good day Louise, yes Susan should be home soon, its been strange without her here.May get back on here later See you soon, don’t get burnt !love jayne xxx
I was just about to answer your last post, Ive been having trouble today with the internet, it keeps going for some reason. Ive had to turn my computer off several times to get it back, so dont know how long it last now.
I'm so sorry youre still feeling so low. I wish there was something or some way I could make things ok for you. Did you have a good birthday, I hope you did. Its quite warm here today now, it was a bit cool earlier, but nice now. My hubbys just gone outside so i think i'm off to join him and have a few drinks, actually will probably have more than a few !!!! You know how it is, one leads to another and before you know it you're tiddly. Still, it doesnt hurt does it.
I hope you enjoy the rest of the holiday Sharon, and your mum is feeling brighter too. Stay strong mate. Take care love jayne xxx
