hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
Jayne- you don't get shot of me 'till saturday!!! Karen goes tomorrow though,so Karen-have a really good holiday and we'll see you when you get back.
Still got heaps to do today so prob.won't be around much.Just thought i'd tell you all about something that youngest said last night though,which although made me cry,made me smile also.
Mum had a small collection of cuddly toys,some of which she had in the home with her.When she was still quite with it she said to my youngest,that the cuddly cat would be his when she had gone.She loved cats,and very much liked this toy one.When mum died Little-un insisted on keeping the cat in front of the umbrella plant.Yesterday he asked me if he could take the cat with him,so that nanny would be on holiday with us.I said of course he could.It brought a tear to my eye,and does now,telling you all about it-but it also made me smile because it shows that nanny is still very much in his thoughts,even though she is no longer here.
Marie, thats so lovely, bless him. I think maybe that cat will be going to a lot of places with you from now on, aint kids nice with what they come out with.
Might catch you later, I'm still thinking about getting in the shower, cant be bothered to move at the minute. I'll speak to you before you go anyway, see you soon. jayne x
Our phone just rang here in the living room, it rang once and stopped. when i looked at it, it said bedroom on the display !!!! as though someone had called from the bedroom, how weird. spooky.
Morning everyone ( sorry, I see it’s afternoon now!!)
Jayne, sorry for leaving you on your own yesterday! Did you miss me????
I was sitting with my hot water bottle again and was feeling a bit sick and breathless last night but I’m a bit better again today. (I’m really not a hypochondriac!!) My brother also appeared in the evening and spent a couple of hours with me. They had just been out for a birthday tea and the kids were rather hyper I think so he decided to escape for a while. It’s a second marriage for them both and my sister in law had 3 kids from her previous marriage. Our family life was always simple till his marriage started going wrong and it caused so much stress for everyone. My niece stays with her mum and my brother takes her to see me but not as much as I’d like. She’s 15 now and just a typical teenager. When she was born Mum and dad were over the moon. She was their first grandchild and it was such a pity that things didn’t work out but there was no point in staying together if it meant unhappiness. He’s mad taking on these kids I think but he appears happy and he has given them some stability. I also have a “real” nephew who I see all the time. I often feel that having seen what my brother went through, it has made me very wary of relationships again.
Sorry me, me, me again, how are you all today?
Jayne- Have you been to the hospital yet? It’s obviously not far away that you’re managing to come home after depositing your neighbour. How’s the back and knee? Are you managing to potter in the garden? Is that job application away yet? As I said yesterday, I’m sure you’ve mentioned the “unusual” job before. I think you’d be good at that too.
It’s beautiful here again today and yes, it was 21 degrees here yesterday too. You’ll all have to come to tropical Aberdeen for your hols!! The Tesco workers are all topless today-the workmen on the roof-not the checkout girls!!!
Marie- glad the packing is all done. Have you far do have to travel? It sounds as if the weekend is going to stay fine so you should be able to get out and about. When do you get back? (I’m a bit like Jayne-forgetful!!) Don’t stress out now! That was such a sweet thing that your little one wants to do-see your mum will be with you!!
Karen-Great news about hubby’s job. See things are looking up again, aren’t they? Is he looking forward to it? It will be a bit of a change from the army, won’t it? I hope you’re feeling brighter again. You’re getting there, Karen. Everything just takes time, doesn’t it? Your bench sounds lovely. I spend ages sometimes sitting on the plastic bag I’ve taken the flowers in and often have a wet bum afterwards – a bench would be ideal.
Amanda-good to hear from you. How’s the hols going? Have you been working at all? Don’t think the gym is a Duncan Banattyne’s but you can see it on
Depending on prices, I might just leave it till after summer as I like to get out and about in the fresh air in the fine nights.
You have a lovely few days away too, Amanda. As you say, your dad will be fine and your brother’s still there for him. I know what you mean about Paul Daniels and his mum. I often think like that but I also am so aware that I although my mum and dad still had so much living to do and weren’t old for this day and age, I had them a lot longer than you and for that I should be grateful.
Click on the teddy and the categories are down the right hand side-really exciting stuff!!!!
Sharon- I hope you are OK today. As the others said please look after yourself; your mum really needs you and you’re doing a great job. I mentioned counselling to you last time. Do you think that would be of benefit? The Macmillan nurse I saw was wonderful. Do you work, Sharon? I also find that helpful, especially staying on my own. Anyway you take care and we’ll hear from you soon
My review was OK yesterday. She didn’t want me to stop so we’ve come to a compromise that I’ll go back at the start of July again for another review. I suppose it’s good to know that I still have her to fall back on.
Off to see what falls out of the cupboard for lunch and then I’m going to cut some shrubs back. I’ve probably left it too late but the dog has eaten through one clematis and I’ll have to pull in down now.
Hope to catch up later and if not enjoy the hols girls. Sorry for all this waffle, it’s like a novel-should have sent separate messages.
I was getting a bit worried about you, and yes I did miss you yesterday.I'm glad you're feeling better today.Has the sickness feeling gone now?
Yes I've been to the hospital, it only took me about 10 – 15 mins to get there, I just dropped him off and he’ll phone me when he’s ready to come home.He said it was going to take a couple of hours, so he should ring about 3.30 ish.I was worried about driving past the ward that Mum was in, but when I went to go past there were workmen there and the road was closed off and diverted, phew, what a relief.But it still brought back sad memories on the way home.It was also very hot like today when Mum was there, it felt like I was just coming back from visiting her, very sad thoughts.
The knees ok thanks, but the back is still as bad during the night, its only when I lay down, we’ve been looking to get a new bed, so might be sooner rather than later.I will be going out into the garden soon, taking my little buddy JoJo with me, he loves it outside, I think its because he can hear the other birds.
I'm so glad you clarified about the topless workers, you had me worried for a minute, if I were you Louise I'd keep driving to tescos just to have a look at them.Theres something about men in faded jeans, topless and wearing a hard hat, yummy.Ooops, got carried away for a minute then !!
That was good about your review wasn’t it.at least you're not pressured to go back, but as you say, she is still there if you need her, she sounds really nice.
How weird about the phone, ours isn't even new, so don’t know why that happened.I went running into the bedroom to see who it was, how daft.It would have been even more scary if I'd picked it up and Mum was on the other end !!
Well I'm off out into the garden to just sit and read, although I could take the computer out as its wireless, but looking at the battery theres only 34 mins left till I have to plug it in, so will take a book out and just chill.Enjoy your afternoon Louise, I may not be back later because after I've picked neighbour up me and hubby are going out for an early meal (pub grub).See you soon, love jayne xxx
Hi Louise-- hope you wont have worked too hard in the garden by the time you read this!!!
My brother is also on his second marriage.We knew that the first one wouldn't last when he rang us up one day when they were still just going out together,and told us that he and she had split up,and he'd got himself 2 goldfish instead!!!!!
Then,a while later they got back together and he married her! he looked as white as a sheet on his wedding day,and we all thought he was going to pass out!!! The marriage lasted around 2 years. He's now re-married.sadly,i find his new wife difficult as well,and she thinks the same about me!!!! Theyve got 4 kids.
Going back to something you said the other day about your friends tending not to mention your parents any more,even though they knew them well-i think i;m very lucky.One of my friends actually visited my mum in hospital for me when i was away on a family holiday with hubby and boys.I was torn,because i didn't want to go-but mum told me that i should.I stayed behind for a day,so that i could reassure myself that mum was picking up,and then my friend visited her a couple of times whilst i was away.It was very good of her,'cause mum was totally doped up and talking gibberish,and she engaged my friend in lengthy conversation of a delicate nature,which my friend and i still giggle about now!!!!
Consequently mum is not a taboo subject,and being able to talk about her has been a great help to me.I do get tearful,but generally we have a laugh,because we're remembering mums awkward ways,and how she would actually say things to people that the rest of us would only think about saying!!!!
Am office sitting again whilst hubby down the bank.It has been such a beautiful day hasn't it.
I think its very wise to keep your councelling on the back burner so that it is there if needed.I'm sure that you are getting stronger with each passing day Louise-but its good to have a safety net there.
Were away for the week from saturday,though hubby is returning home as he cant have too much time off,as he's the only one in the office! I know that i shouldnt get stressed,but i am.dad tells me such fantastic tales,and i'm expected to believe them.It's so very hard because he is a good man,and i love him to bits,but he has to pretend to be something he's not,and he likes other people to think he is as well.Mum used to say to me,"if you ever get left with your dad -emigrate!!!! and she wasn't joking!!!!!
Got friends coming over so wont be back on today,but hopefully will log on at some point to say goodbye to you all tomorrow.I'm going to miss you lot!! We none of us know each other,but you've all become important to me and i do like to keep in touch with you all.Bye for now,marie XXXXXXx
How are you today I hope you are ok. Have you got any more job interviews in the pipeline. The weather is really warm and bright blue sky here in york. It was too nice to stay in so I've come to the library then I've got to go to sainsbury's. I am just feeling the same today but I'm not going to depress you all you are going through so much. I find it helpful writing how I'm feeling and sometimes it helps to stop me carry out the things I am thinking about doing. I'm spending tomorrow at mums as its my birthday I got some money through from my brother today so thats gone in my savings account for the computer. So I surpose I will have to bite mytongue and speak to him to thank him not that I'm looking forward to that. I'm getting money from mum and dad as well so you never know I may be able to get one soon then you will never get rid of it as I really miss not been able to talk to you all in the evenings. The librarys ok but you can only have two hours a day. Do you know much about computers whether a laptop is best or a desktop one. I also want it for games. I saw some desktop ones in woolworths for £200. Anyway I hope you have a good weekend. I probably won't be back on till tuesday as the librarys shut fri and mon. I will try to come on saturday depending how I feel. You take care and thank you for your kind words you always know what to say lots of love Sharon xxx
How are you, are you all packed for your hols. I hope you have a good time and the weather stays warm. Thank you are what you said I am just about hanging on it helps writing down how I really feel as it sometimes helps to stop me carrying out what I am thinking. I know I have to keep going for mum she needs me to be strong and keep it together. I think I worrying about losing her as when she's gone I won't have any family as such, my dad and brother will be there but I don't really have a relationship with either of them I tolerate them for my mums benefit and when my mums gone I won't have anything to do with them unless things greatly change and I don't see that happening. Anyway don't feel bad for taking tablets I have been taking them for years although I don't think they are really helping at the moment I think I need them increased or changed to some other tablets. I may go and see the doctor after easter. Are you feeling any better in yourself although its early days as the talblets can take a couple of weeks to take affect. Are you sleeping any better not been able to sleep is awful. Did I read about you having an interview for a care work job next week, if so I hope the interview goes well. I used to work in nursing homes, working with the elderly is very satifying. I hope you have a really really good holiday looking forward to hearing about it when you come home lots of love Sharon xxx
I hope you are ok and that aaron and josie are both well. Thank you for what you said to me. Things are the same here really still feeling really low and at my wits end, but I'm still holding on not sure how. You asked whether i saw a counscellor or macmillan nurse. I did see someone when mum was first ill again last year through the cancer care centre but I only saw her a few times as they only see people short term. I think I would have benefitted from seeing someone later. Mum doesn't have a macmillan nurse as she refused one as dad doesn't like people going to the house he doesn't like the district nurse coming every week. I may speak to my gp after easter and see if she can help. I hope you have a good weekend take care lots of love Sharon xxxx
