my beautiful mum has gone page 2

Hi Sharon,

I'm so sorry you're still feeling so down.  Please please don’t give up now mate, you're doing so well and your Mum needs you more than ever now.  It is really hard to keep going some days but the time to give up is when theres nothing else left, and there is lots left for you and your Mum.  And when you don’t know which way to turn, you come on here and have a moan or rant or whatever you feel like at the time.  As Karen says, we have all been there, we know what its like to see someone you love so poorly, and it breaks your heart, but we all kept going because our mums wanted us to, and we do it for our mums, because we loved them so much.  You must keep going, no matter how hard some days seem, just keep going mate.  Life does deal such crap to the nicest people, but we learn lessons from all our experiences and it will make us all better people in the end.  We don’t have any plans for easter, just dossing.  How about you, will you be spending it with your Mum?  I bought my Mum a huge easter egg last year, she never did get to eat it.  It was still here in the fridge after she passed away.  I think this easter will be a sad one for a lot of us. 

Morning everyone

Gosh ! some of you were up late again last night, or should I say, this morning?

Amanda you’ve just reminded me, I was going to look for a little statue of some sort so I can put it with the stone (if it ever comes back !).  thanks for the reminder.  Where did you get yours from?  I'm not sure if our local garden centre does them, I’ll have to have a look over the weekend.  (we’re bbq hunting, we left ours round the old house because it was a bit big).  The bit where you said about going past your parents house has me a bit confused, sorry.  I do go past our old house, where I grew up, but that doesn’t make me sad anymore because Mum and Dad moved from there over 20 years ago and I now live in the house that was the last one they lived in before they both passed, so I don’t have to drive past it because I live in it.  My Mum couldn’t bear the thought of anyone living in it, so we promised her we would move in.  But I have to admit, I don’t think I could ever drive past it if someone else was living here, I just wouldn’t feel right if I saw someone else in mums garden, I would have been forever worried that they were keeping it nice. It must be really hard to have to do that. 

I was having a ‘this time last year’ day yesterday.  It was on the 4^th April last year that I took the last ever photos of Mum here in her house.  My niece and the kids were here and I used to come round during my lunch breaks, I pretended I was taking photos of the kids, but really I wanted to take them of my Mum.  I knew she wouldn’t be very happy because she had started to look pale and not her usual self.   I took two pictures on my mobile and then downloaded them onto the computer.  I can remember she didn’t seem very happy that day, I think she was going through the ‘anger’ stage and had realised just how ill she was.  The last ever photo I took was when she was in hospital, she was asleep and I used to carry the camera everywhere with me, so I took her photo.  She looks so peaceful in it, but would have been so annoyed with me if she knew.  I hope she has forgiven me for doing that. 

Morning Marie

Glad to hear you’ve got most of the packing done, when do you go, is it tomorrow?  I hope you have a good time and you and your Dad don’t have any ‘upsets’.  You were up late weren’t you?  The snoring does drive you mad doesn’t it?  We used to sleep in separate bedrooms till we came here, people used to think we were mad, but it worked great.  But we didn’t have room for our superking bed here, so we got rid of it and now have the double bed which I used to sleep in.  I thought I'd never sleep again and was really worried about it, but when we first moved in I had the best nights sleep for years, (till my back went) even though it was together !!  The idea was that we would get a single bed for the spare room (no room for double) and I would sleep in there, but we still have boxes in there, so no room, but I don’t think we’ll bother now because we’re back sleeping together.  My mates used to think I was mad sleeping apart, but when the snoring takes over you would do anything to get away from it wouldn’t you?  Its horrible. So you see Louise, being on your own has lots of advantages, enjoy it while you can because one day you'll be moaning about snoring.  I hope you managed to get some sleep Marie. 

Morning Louise

Morning Karen