hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
Its good to see you back.You’ve been so busy haven’t you?Its such a hard job sorting through clothes isn't it, but its done now, so well done to you.I kept a few of my mums cardies, and a jumper but the rest her two sisters shared between them.I kept her slippers, just didn’t have the heart to get rid of them, even though they're only size 4 and wouldn’t fit me, but I just put them in the wardrobe along with her handbag that still has various things in it.I still have her wash bag from the hospice sitting here in the bedroom with all her bits in, just can't bring myself to empty it, not good I suppose, but can't do it.I'm so glad your Dad is settling in and you got most of the furniture in, it will make him feel even more at home with your Mum and dads things I'm sure.That’s a shame you didn’t have time to have one last look around, but as you say, it was probably a good thing. You still have all your happy memories, the main thing is your Dad is happy with his move and that’s good.
Poor Josie bless her, she's had a bit of a time hasn’t she?I hope she’s soon back to normal and toddling about keeping you busy !!!I suppose you will be busy with the school holidays now, trying to keep the little ones occupied, I would imagine its quite a wearing time, thinking of new things to keep their little minds busy, I only had an hour and a half earlier with ours, and they wear me out !but its great, I love it.The eldest is 7, I had to laugh because hes lost his 2 front teeth since I last saw him, hopefully the new ones will come through soon.I'd better get going, hubby will be home soon and I’ll get caught doing nothing…….. again!Great to see you back Amanda, speak soon, take care, love jayne xxx
its great to hear from you i have been thinking about you.
i'm sorry you too have been feeling so low, and with horrible thoughts as well, i know how that feels, but we have to keep trying to pick ourselves up for our mums dont we?
have you thought about counselling or going to see the doctor nicky?
your poor dad as well, it is terrible for the people who are left behing isnt it? its so hard to try and come to terms with when you have had them forever and all of a sudden there gone.
you will nor doubt be kept busy with your wedding preperations now nicky, congratulations, and just remember your mum will be with you on your special day, and she will be smiling and so proud of you!!
friday will be very tough for you nicky, and i will be thinking about you.
your poor boyfriend, i hope he is ok now.
you take care of yourself, and hope to speak soon, lots of love and hugs karen xxx
Hi Nicky-posted a long reply to you,and lost it.I shall be briefer this time!!!
Just a thought,but when i get really down i talk out loud to my mum.It's a one sided conversation,but somehow,talking aloud makes it seem a little more real.We all know our mums so well,and know what their opinions would be on any given situation,but a "conversation" of a sort seems to help me realise a bit more what mums answer would be.If i'm down i ask mum for help out loud.Obviously,i don't get a reply!! but in my head i seem to get a better idea of what that reply would have been.Now you all think that the lift doesn't go all the way to the top as far as i am concerned,but we all have little things that we do,that helps us,and this is one of mine.I think that you're hurting even more Nicky because you are getting married,and that highlights the fact that your mum is no longer here.Every girl wants her mum around on such a special day.Your mum brought you into this world hoping that you would get the very best out of life,so you make sure that you do just that.Enjoy every moment that you can-and extract every last bit of happiness in honour of her memory.If she was here she would be telling you that is what she wants for you.Don't feel guilty for being happy-or for being sad either.Its a big period of re-adjustment that we have to go through now, and whilst time isn't necessarily a healer- it does allow us to re-adjust and then to cope.It won't happen overnight though.Your dad is obviously finding things very hard and thats horrible to witness,because you know that you cant give him what he wants-your mum back.Its what you all want.What you have to do is all pull together as you are doing and allow yourselves the time to come to terms with all of this.I am sorry that you feel so seriously low when you have such a lot to look forward to, but i can understand.I really wish that you weren't having to go through this,or to feel this way,and all i can say to you is remember your mum and everything that she meant to you.She loved you so much,as you did her,and she would not want for you to be suffering like this.For your mum,and for yourself, look to the future and make the most out of every minute that you have on this earth.Do it because of the love that you and your mum had (and still have ) for each other.There's still going to be lots of tears,but theres still a lot of happiness out there for you as well.I hope that your fiancee is fully recovered and i send my congratulations for your forthcoming wedding.You will be ok Nicky- just don't expect too much of yourself,because you'll be adding to your stress.There is help out there if you do need to ask for it,and it won't be a sign of weakness if it does get to that stage.The girls on here are all incredibly supportive and i hope that you will find comfort in that.Take care,love Marie XXXXX
My friend is just off the phone asking me to meet her for coffee on Wednesday afternoon. When I mentioned my counselling session was then, she said, “Oh for goodness sake, don’t tell me you're still going to that, are you?” I’m such a weakling, I know, but I’m trying my best as I know I have to get on and be happy again for Mum and Dad. She’s no idea what all this has been like. She still has both her parents and because she was a late baby, they are quite old now. But they are still fit and do a lot with her and her family-lucky her!!
Sorry, off to watch the news and then I’m so sad that I’m even looking forward to the “verdict” on Corrie!!
Louise
Xxx
Karen- Benji is scalped and has lost his “teddy bear” looks but at least my house will be cleaner for a while. By the way do any of you know how to keep a laminate floor clean???? ( Jayne doesn’t)
people like your friend have no idea do they? what a thing to say to you, she must know your struggling, well dont you worry louise, everyones different some people go it alone without anything, others need counselling and some people (like us) go onto medication, but it doesnt mean that we are weak its just that everyones deals with loss and other things differently, so dont you take any notice you just do what helps you at the moment.
i too am looking forward to the verdict on corrie, we must be sad eh?
regarding your laminate floor i just brush and mop it daily.
hope you have a good evening, speak soon, lots of love karen xxx
