hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
How are you how has work gone today. I hope you are feeling brighter today. I'm seeing mum this afternoon although her chemo has been cancelled today due to her platelets been too low, hopefully they will improve enough for next week. I'm still feeling really low at the moment, there just so much to cope with. Some days its so difficult to get through the day. Anyway I hope you have had a good day at school and hope you can have a relaxing evening. You take care lots of love Sharon xxxx
I was trying to get a post on here to you in case you came home for lunch, but i cant type it fast enough, just to say 'hello' and i'm in the process of replying to you. jayne xxx
Thank goodness you’re back. I was worried. Just had a quick look at your messages and I’m so sorry you’re not too good again. I have to rush away again but I’ll try and get back later.
How are you?How did the doctors visit go?I hope everything is ok with you and the chest pains soon stop, it’s a worry isn’t it?As if we all haven’t had enough to deal with!So you're off to the hairdressers again tomorrow, I thought you only went a few weeks ago?Or is it that time just flies by?I want mine highlighting again, maybe I’ll ask hubby to do it on Saturday, then I think we had planned to walk through the spinney to the local pub for a few drinks.Sunday it will be packed with the whole worlds mums having lunch.I think they're even having 2 sittings because they got so many bookings this year.So Saturday will be nice quiet day.Will you be going to the cemetery on Saturday and Sunday?I hope the weather stays nice for you, although it doesn’t matter what its like, we can still talk to them can't we?Its been really quiet on here lately, and now everyone is here all at once, I can't keep up now!I see Marie was on here last night, then came back and no one had been on since her last post.Sorry Marie.I too have been reading your messages on the other threads.Well Louise, I hope today has been a good one for you, speak soon, take care, love jayne xxx
How are you and all the family?I hope you're feeling better than the last time you were here.These down days really get to you don’t they.I sometimes feel they're taking over and it worries me that I might not get out of it and get back to being something like ‘normal’, whatever that is!Please come back and let us know how you are.Thinking of you, take care, love jayne xxx
How are you all?Its been a while since you were here too, is everything ok?Just to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending love, take care, love jayne xxx
Thanks for your post.I feel a bit guilty about not getting my back sorted, I'm supposed to be sorting an osteopath out, but I really don’t want to go, it usually sorts itself out eventually.The trouble is the doctor wont examine me for the other problem until I've sorted my back out, so I don’t know what to do.I've had these other strange symptoms for a few years so I suppose its nothing urgent.
Yes you're right about my brother, I don’t think hes accepted any of it and I dare say he would never talk to his wife because she's of the opinion ‘when you're dead, you're dead’, (as she so nicely put it to me the day after mums funeral!), so she's never supported him in any way.She never even visited my Dad when he was dieing in hospital, so she has no feelings at all.They probably deserve each other.
It must have been a tough one to go to the match, the first one without your Mum and Dad, but what a caring, sensitive and wise young man Jonathan is.And what a great thing to happen, smelling your dads aftershave.As I keep saying, this is their way of showing us they're with us.Your Mum and Dad were definitely there with you Susan.I know you don’t want to read much into it, but it’s a sign.
I did smile when you mentioned about my Mum trying to keep me busy, she more than likely IS smiling at me not knowing what everything is.I even asked our neighbour yesterday what something was in the front garden, and he said ‘oh goodness knows, your Mum just used to ‘dob’ things in and up they came, she was always out here’.They still miss her too.Perhaps that’s where I'm going wrong, perhaps I'm not a natural ‘dobber’??!!I was going out the back garden again this afternoon, but the sun keeps going in.I can't do much here inside because good old Anglian Water have turned the water off from 9am to 5pm, so can't wash up or anything, (what a god send).
Yes, big day tomorrow.I was going to do dinner at home, but now we’re going out for a meal, just a couple of hours.We haven’t been out since just before valentines day, when I burst into tears and then we left and came home.I will be ok tomorrow though.Yesterday I found the card that Mum bought us last year, and I will put it up again.I didn’t know the flower was geranium, that’s very apt because yesterday I got mums out the hut and gave them a trim and dead headed them.They're all ready to be put somewhere.She bought them last year and watched me from her bed when I put them in her tubs, but told me to take them out for the winter and put them in again this year.She must have known then that she wouldn’t be here to put them in again.But I'm sure she will be watching AND smiling as you say.
Well thanks for your post Susan, I might be back later, depending on what's on tv.I've sat here all day doing diddly squat, better get up and move myself.Take care, speak soon, love jayne xxx
Shall we make a pact never to talk about brothers, they just upset us, so what's the point?I'm sorry your still feeling so low and your mums chemo was cancelled.That’s not good that her platelets are low is it.It’s a real struggle some days, but keep going, as I said before, you're doing great the way you're looking after your Mum.It’s a shame you're having to deal with it all on your own.I thought what you said about your mums sister is really poor.Some people just seem to switch off from the situation and have the attitude, well someone else is dealing with it so I wont bother.I don’t think they realise how much it takes out of you and how draining it all is.No one knows Sharon until its their turn to deal with something like this.All I keep saying is ‘their turn will come’.I had a few drinks last night as well, probably more than a few actually, but it doesn’t hurt does it.I don’t know what sort of scan it will be, none if I don’t get my back sorted out first because the doc wont see me until its better, so I wont be having any scan at all.Hopefully you will get your results soon and they will be good for you.I hope you soon feel ok Sharon, and your Mum is ok, despite the let down with the chemo.We all have to keep plodding on don’t we, but sometimes I do wonder what the point of it all is.Right, I am DEFINITELY going to move myself now.Take care Sharon, love to you and your Mum.Jayne xxx
Hi Jayne-- so sorry you've been so down.its horrid isn't it.I used to think it was awful that my brother no longer talks to me,but on the whole i'm jolly glad that he doesn't!!! I think your mum would be very pleased that her ashes were in various places,and anyway,as you say,you've already spread some of them,so what's the point of him having a go?? can't he see what a nice thing it is,to have special plants with some of your mum there,looking after them?/ my mum is all over the place!! up on the Downs, in four seperate indoor plant pots in our house (Umbrella plant,and Youngests peace lily,and mine and eldests fern) She is also around a chrysanth in my back garden and around 5 roses in dads!!! i still have some ashes left as i want to keep just a few.I shall have to buy a special pot for them because at the moment they're in a chineses take away plastic container with lid.!!! My brother was asked if he wanted any of mums ashes but he said no.He thinks its funny that she has been so widely spread though.!!
It would have been mum and dads anniversary (44 years) on 16th and together with mothers day on sunday i guess thats whats making me feel a bit low.I'm happy to report that dad is coping very well,and has a good social life,so i'm not having to worry about him at all.However,it seems to me that everyone seems to have gotten over mum,and i still haven't and am not expecting to for quite some time to come.Still, i do have a deep rooted faith,and i believe that she is ok- i just have this need to know for sure,which of course,i never will.There would be no point in having a faith if it was a certainty that we were allowed to know about would there.
Sorry to hear about all the aggravation that you are having health wise.i do hope that everything gets sorted for you.
I hope that you have a happy wedding anniversary tomorrow. Its nice to have an anniversary in the spring.ours is in October,and its usually cold,wet,and dark!!!
I know what you mean about sitting there thinking "this time last year......." I do that all the time.I can't quite believe that my lovely mum was so cruelly taken so early.She was my rock in life.No one cares for me in quite the same way as she did.When she was not quite so poorly she used to say that she couldn't believe that she was being taken so early,and she wanted to be around for years yet because she wanted to see all her grandchildren grow up etc. Towards the end, she said that she was ready to go-Physically she was,but mentally i don't think so.she fought so long and hard and it just seems so cruel for her to have lost her battle.However, i try to think of her now still keeping an eye on her family, but free at last to enjoy an existance with no pain. i hope that you can think of your mum in that way too Jayne.
It was weird no one being on here last night!!! normally this discussion is always on the go and you only have to leave it for a while to come back and see that another 3 pages have been added in your abscence!!! it was a lonely old night yesterday.I missed you all!!!!
lots of love,hope you feeling brighter in the sunshine.Take care,love Marie XXXXXX
