My mum is due to start chemotherapy at the end of this month and am concerned about her becoming immunosuppressed as a result of her treatment. Linking in with this, I've recently met a new partner and whilst I've been round to his house, unfortunately, it is untidy and dirty. I may seem obsessive by this but I'm worried that the slightest bit of unseen bacteria in his house could spread through particles onto my clothes and in turn inadvertently be passed onto my mum and could make her seriously ill if not kill her. How do I broach this with my partner? I have offered to help out with tidying and cleaning of his house to which he's turned me down. I think he turned me down because he was quite embarrassed about it - he did admit about struggling with housework because it looks like its got out of control. To me, if you struggle with something and are offered help, you accept it. I offered to help from a caring point of view.
To be honest, I feel embarrassed about going into his house because of it, so much so, I turned down staying overnight with him tonight, not just because of that, but because he was due to be up during the early hours as I feel I shouldn't have to stay overnight in someone else's house when they have an early start. Even so, I wouldn't allow my 7 year old daughter in his house because of the state of his house. I am also teaching my daughter the importance of cleaning up after yourself and tidying up things you stop playing with at the moment especially as I know for a fact that this doesn't happen when she's with her dad.
All I am doing is paying closer attention to my standards of hygiene so to protect my mum - am I being unreasonable in my feelings about this? It also brought back some negative memories for me with my ex husband as he had a very similar attitude. I love my partner and am concerned about him but I can't be expected to visit or stay overnight in a dirty house. The house concerned has the potential to be a decent house too if only he looked after and respected it too.
If anyone can advise further from their own experiences, please do so. Thank you x
Hi LindsayT81
I don't know if "poor house hygiene" from someone who's not living with your mum but who you are meeting could have an adverse affect on her as she's immunosuppressed. This might be a good question to post in the ask a nurse section of the online community. If this is something that you'd like to do, clicking on the link I've created will take you there where you could then copy and paste your post from here to save you typing it out again. The nurses are available from Monday to Friday and aim to get back to you within 3 working days.
When I was immunosuppressed, due to having chemotherapy, my husband and I basically followed the same rules that we'd had to at the height of covid, ie washing hands when coming in to the house, staying away from people with any sort of infection, only meeting people outdoors, etc. I'm not sure from your post whether you live with your mum or just visit but, if you live with her, then doing what my husband and I did certainly stopped me from picking up any infections.
x
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