Help struggling to cope caring for my dad

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My dad has advanced cancer which has spread into his bones. He has been in the local hospice for five weeks and was discharged home. My mum is at home but is a similar age to my dad with her own related health issues. They have carers coming in twice a day but basically are left to deal with everything else. My dad is almost immobile and therefore we struggle to get him to the toilet and in and out of bed. We cannot leave my dad and therefore I have been going over on a daily basis to help. 
We are basically not coping. My dads pain has been escalating and he is now back in the hospice for a few days. I am already worrying about what is going to happen when he is going to come out.

As far as I can see care at home is not very well supported. Does anybody have any advice please. I am beginning to make myself unwell worrying about how we are going to cope.

The solution I have been given so far is to involve family and friends in his care. We have no other family and my parents friends are all elderly, so that is not an option. 
I am feeling pretty desperate.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post 

  • Hi and a warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    I'm sorry to read of the problems that you and your mum are facing trying to care for your dad at home. As the community is divided up into different support groups I'm going to suggest that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group which is a great place to ask your questions around what care is available, share experiences and get support from others in a similar position.

    To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. 

    It would be great if you could pop something about your dad's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

    If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help


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