BOB JK My diary of kidney cancer (to be continued)
FormerMember
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Hi, My name is Bob and I live in Cambridgeshire. I am married with an 8 yr old daughter and three older step sons. Up untill the end of last year everything was tickety boo having recently moved to a new house which we love. Work was busy but enjoyable. I am Manager of an electrical companys maintenance department and my Wife, Linda was enjoying her job as a Nurse. The three boys are buying there own house nearby and all work locally. In November I went to my Doctors with a small "cyst" on my chest. After a couple of referals and many Xrays, pet scans, bone scans and CT scans I was told the news everybody dreads. My lump on the chest was a secondary cancer of which the primary was in my left Kidney. I was fast tracked to the Royal Brompton, under the expert care of Mr Laddas who informed a long and complicated operation would need to be carried out to remove the bone tumor and surrounding bone which involved two ribs,my collar bone and chest bone. I did not have time to panic, the operation was carried out the next day over 10 hrs. After nearly two weeks in the Brompton I am recovering well from this op but I have since been told that the Cancer is in both kidneys as well as small mets in both lungs. It seems at the moment further ops are out the question and i have been put on the drug Sutent. I am one week into this and so far so good. I do not know what the future holds but I have to remain positive.
As you can see, I have awoken and cannot drop off to sleep again. I am going through a tough time at the moment. Linda has been doing some of my blogg as I physically have not got the energy or the memory. Yesterday was very tough. Oxygen and breathing was the big issue. I only had go to the loo and that would finish me off. My legs were like lead weights as well. Pain is quite well controlled but you pay for that by being totally knocked out cold. My other big problem is my memory. As soon as I have said something, my brain looses its grasp and I loose it, It is so annoying.It is so annoying, especially when i trying to write my memories of the day. In the evening last night we had two care nurses who put me to bed and made me comfortable for the night. So I slept well from 11 ish till now. I am now enjoying a cuppa with my overnight nurse.It's when you awake at time like this your mind runs amoke. I know things are not good, I think about how Kate and Linda will be after I have died. They will be ok, They are both strong and I am so proud of them, and the boys as well. We also have a good circle of family and friends, not that I'm ready to go yet( i hope) but one has to be ready.
i think patients all have those feelings bob about those left behind, so so needing them to live on for us and so needing them to have good days for us . and wanting so much for them to be allright.
i am sure you will have talked to your family anout this and i am sure what ever happens Bob they will be fine in the end just as you so need them to be...Theres hundreds of people on here that will be there for your family IF / WHEN ever they need some support.
i know its a stupid thing to say Bob and an allmost impossible thing to do but your family WILL live for you IF the worst comes to the worst just as you need them to so try not to get to stressed or worried about that thing Bob...
anyway bob, as you say your going no where yet....hugs....
