Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey my little chickies and big rooster! lol Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts and words. You're all so very kind and my strength too. Well today daz has not been good at all his face is still swollen, he has veins come up all over his chest and neck and still very breathless. He started the Dex yesterday so hoping this helps and this all dissapates soon. Haven't heard about Radio starting yet but his onco did say he wants it started within the next 7 days so shouldn't be long hopefully. I just want it to get started now for Daz sake bless him. He surprises me evry day with his fighting spirit and strength. Not sure i would be that strong in his position. He's a real hero to me always and forever. I hope you are all doing well and having okish days? Thank you all again for all your support it really helps me just knowing you are all there for me. But don't forget i am here for you all too so if any of you ever need me just shout and i'll be there ok? Love you all loads Much love and big hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My dear MHM, we are here for you, at least, I know that I am, even though I haven't been posting too much am still here and will support you through this.....love and big hugs.....
hey my chickie helen No need for apologies my little friend i know you are all here for me always! That's the thing about this site you may not be about but you always find a friend on here everytime you do come back on isn't it? I hope you are well and that all's ok your end? Did you finish Caz's place or are you still busy with that? I hope you are managing to get some rest too! I know what you're like you busy little chickie! lol Love and big hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
MHM, am just about to switch off and go to bed, we are just SO tired after all the hard work! (and I don't think one ever sleeps well not in your own bed!)....so night night and sleep as well as you can.....love and hugs....
hey all my chickies Just wanted to wish you all sweet dreams and hope you are all resting well. I am about if any of you are still awake and want a chat. I hope you all have a restful peaceful day tomorrow and that you and your loved ones are all well. Much love and big hugs all round love MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear MHM I am still i hope you hear from the hospital soon and get the treatment started thinking of you all much love big hugs chickie sue flat butty mophead madwoman xxxxx
i hope you hear from the hospital soon and get the treatment started thinking of you all 
