Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Wish it was my birthday Kate....could cry If i want to.....but gotta wait till very early Jan....then I start going back the way!
Charles, can you believe anyone wanting to come back to dull old here from Manly/Sydney....yes I know all feel differently, but cousin's hubby and sons SOOO want to go back....she's totally on fence.....well i would call it brick wall....Do no get wrong, I so feel for her, but childern are ripe age for Sydney and all it has to offer (they LOVED it) ....we wondered, if maybe she'd set her sights too high. We urged her to look at surrounding suburbs, but was Manly or nothing for her, sadly. My (mum's side this time) cousin and his friend have a fabulous business, both with 'Esates' in Manly, but it has taken them a lifetime's work to get there, a lot of money, blood, sweat, etc.,
Oh don't know why I'm telling this, but I SO hope she goes back......we think she will (everything crossed). Tis a fab lifestyle, isn't it?.....However....Sure you're absolutely loving it ,so no preaching to converted here.........
ALWAYS FANCIED aussy my late grandad told me we have family there that I never met they been there for years somthing to do with the dock s they were captains on ships then bought into the docks and from there as far as we were told are now shipping magnets .was told to go there years ago but dont think I could now would have to hide inside from sun sometimes I feel like a bloody vampire always thought granda was a bit of a tall taler but when he told us he and his family were land owners in donegal i said y e ye ye but he was buried there a year and a half ago and we met all the family half of donegal downings and it was stunning atlantic drive look that up on net its amzzingly butifull xxxxxxxx are you still up ang xxx
hi mhm, teresa, karen, suebutty, helen, paul. donna, dianne, etc etc sorry if 4got ur name, sending love n loadsa hugs to u all (((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) loadsa love n hugs shell xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
hi there all you luvys hope you all keeping a swell as can be and to all the carers keep up the good work and do remember you need to get some you time too to keep you as strong and loving as you all are hugs an kissses to you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxpaul3melxxxxxxxxx
Page 11 feathered friends we are slip sliding away ! or flying the nest !
Bom Dia, MHM aint ever forgetting you babe hope things are ok for you and Daz you are sorely missed xxxxxxx Morning all feathered friends, hope all are ok,Mick you packed your trolleys?
Buckets of love to all Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey all my little chickies! Long time for me not to have written i know so you can all slap me if you want. I have no excuses except Daz had been doing so well i wanted to enjoy some time with him when he was doing so well. I truly hope you can all understand that and forgive me?
I know it has been so bad of me not being around and i do feel ashamed of that fact. I love Daz so much and wanted to treasure every moment with him. We have been to a few parties and had some fab times together which i will treasure forever, but as they say all good things come to an end and alas i think we are now at the end of these good times.
The last week i have seen Daz getting more and more breathless and tired. He is back on his oxygen again, something he hasn't needed for many months and i'm so very scared!
Daz see's his onco again on Thursday and i know it's gonna be bad news as Daz has gone downhill so fast in this last week. Another sad thing is that one of Daz's mates was gonna take Daz to see his beloved Chelsea play Roma on Wednesday and sadly we don't think this is gonna happen now as Daz really is too weak to go. It's such a shame as that was one of Daz's wishes to see Chelsea and now his dream has got taken away by this b****ard disease!!!!!
Daz was doing so well and we even forgot for a while he had this poxy cancer, and now it seems it has reared it's ugly head again and i can't handle this pain, not only for myself but for my Daz too. He really doesn't deserve this he has been so strong and fought so hard why are things working against him yet again?????
I will never understand how such an evil destructive illness has been allowed to carry on taking so many wonderful peoples lives without anyone stopping it???
I'm sorry to burden all my wonderful chickies and i wish i had better news for you all. I have been thinking of you all, each and every one of you even though i may not have been about. I still walk in your shadows and hold tightly to your hands and will never ever forget any of you who have supported me over the last few months. You are all a true inspiration to me and i love you all forever.
I truly hope you are all having a better time and if your not i am here for you all. I'm sorry again for letting you all down but will try to be a better MH from now. Peace out to you all love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
