Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
karen hun. am rli gutted we had been mates since i was preg wiv jordan, and the only1 that stuck wiv me thru the cancer, it feels like i havent rli got anyone close by now x
oh bless ya hun, is there any way you can still be friends? i hope it sorts itself out mate and i hope all goes well tomoz at school, you dont deserve all of this crap babe xxxxxxxxxx
God ,you,re right Tereasa, people postin soo quickly,i can only do it with one finger,lol,got me wine glass in other hand! Wen i first came on here someone told me to "go away,thats not funny",it took me a while to realize they were havin a laugh replying to a previous post!!!!!!! yea good to see dad today,he also had a glass of wine and a beer Glad michaela doin ok, college will bring back some normality in her life,and then travelling to look forward to xx
Missed a bloody page this time round, slow down chickies...Shezie I type with 2 fingers but have to put me wine down 1st, find it helps else i'd spill it all over the keyboard and I'm not wasting a £2.50 bottle lol :-) college is helping her get her confidence back, we don't talk about Australia at the mo as will miss her sooo much and before that she's now decided that when she goes to Uni next year (although only an hour away) she's going to live in halls :-( but come home once a week for dinner (and no doubt 'pocket money') xxxx
